Saturday, August 30, 2008

Once


Do you like charming movies? Sure you do. Well, friend, you're in
luck, 'cause I've got what you need right here: loads of charm, a bit
of Euro-indie hipness, and a first-class soundtrack thrown in with no
extra charge. How much? Never mind: let's go for a spin and talk
about the details later.

So, what did you find most charming? The blending of folk and
classical music, and the ways the film used both to simultaneously
advance the plot and let us enjoy the performances? Or was it the
semi-sweet, semi-love story between two people who know well enough to
know that all the best stories are only semi-sweet and semi-love?
Personally, I was charmed by the film's shoestring feel, one which
seemed absolutely appropriate for the conditions, personal and
financial, in which its characters live. I also delighted in how, in
the context of the film, characters charmed one another.

So, yes, you may supposed that I found "Once" charming. And you'd be
right. As I wrote earlier, this is a story about people who are in
love with music, and who may fall in love with another. I fell in
love right along with them, and I plan to buy the soundtrack.

Charming.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Leatherheads


It took me a while to warm up to LEATHERHEADS. I thought George
Clooney was trying too hard to be Cary Grant. I thought Renée
Zellweger was trying too hard to be Jennifer Jason Leigh trying to be
Katharine Hepburn. And I don't care about the early days of football.

But about twenty minutes in, someone said something that made me
smile. Then someone else said something that made me chuckle. Then I
laughed into my fist at 2:00 am in the middle of coach on a Gulf Air
flight from someplace nice to someplace lousy. And I just kept
laughing. Yep, that's how good this movie is. It's the kind of movie
that'll make you laugh even if you're watching it on a postage stamp
LCD in coach on a redeye. Clooney, Zellweger, and the supporting cast
grow on you, and before you know it you're bopping along with the
cadences of their wonderfully written and delivered dialogue.

Aw, hell, even the sight gags work.

I understand why LEATHERHEADS didn't open big, as I doubt the "witty
wordplay and football" demographic is large enough to guarantee large
crowds. But this is a film that should do well on video, as people
like me tell their friends it's worth queuing up. And I'm telling
you, it is. LEATHERHEADS is smart and sharp and funny. Just give it
a little time to grow on you.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Orphanage


Walking out of THE ORPHANAGE, I thought, "That's the best
horror movie I've seen since THE OTHERS!"

Like THE OTHERS, THE ORPHANAGE is an example of the fact that axe
murderers and fake intestines aren't scary. Atmosphere, acting, and
music are scary (Yes, I did just spend five minutes trying to find a
synonym for "music" that starts with the letter A. I'm a nerd.).

Here's a movie that knows that the reveal isn't the scary part. It's
the involvement in the characters, the foreboding, the slow burn
that's the scary part (There's an essay in there about great horror
movies as great lovemaking and slasher films as a wham-bam in a
bathroom stall, but I'm not in the mood to write that tonight.). But
when you can make those three elements happen, then deliver on the
horrific climax and note-perfect denoument, why, you've got yourself a
winner. The ORPHANAGE does that, trusting itself and audience enough
to take its time, work the burn, and come through when it matters.
What a picture.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Japanese Story


Toni Collette ranks among the great actresses of her generation.

From MURIEL'S WEDDING to THE SIXTH SENSE to ABOUT A BOY to IN HER SHOES, she's proven to be that rarest of gems, the character actress who also gets to be a movie star. She so thoroughly sells her characters that most people probably don't even know who she is, or that the same person played her roles. With JAPANESE STORY, Collette delivers a remarkable star turn, the kind of performance that will make a true believer out of you.

Collette plays a geologist and businesswoman who's saddled with the unpleasant task of showing a potential client, a young Japanese businessman, around his company's mining operations in the Australian Outback. She wants to sell him an analytic software package; we're not sure what he wants, but we are sure that he treats her like the gum under his shoe. But the Outback is a big place. Strange things can happen. People can turn human.

And that's about it for the plot teaser. What really matters here is the force of Collette's performance. JAPANESE STORY is almost entirely about her character's inner journey, and it's a journey she takes without soliloquys. This film hinges upon its star's ability to depict a rich inner life with the slightest of hints, and Collette delivers. Hers is not a classically beautiful face, but it is a classically fascinating one, and she uses it to focus our attention and carry the picture. We grind our teeth with her, we smile with her, we nearly become her in a performance so inviting, so true, that we walk out of the picture putting it right up alongside her very best work.

Simply put, this is an astonishing performance in a very fine picture. Seek out JAPANESE STORY.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Little Children


When it comes to "Little Children," Cinescene's Shari Rosenblum took the words out of my mouth. If my mouth were capable of forming such well considered, well-written words, that is. Shari has graciously allowed me to publish her review here on Netflix Junkie, and I think you'll find it worth reading.

Written (by Todd Field and Tom Perotta, after his novel) with a tsk and a supercilious smirk and directed (Field, again) by a pointed finger wagging, LITTLE CHILDREN is a cinematic sermon hard to sit for. Overlong at two hours and ten minutes (one is reminded of Mark Twain's musing that no sinner is ever saved in the first 20), it takes its time to build to the height from which it finally, and most
haughtily, condescends. In the meantime, it scathes its way through summer parks, pools, playgrounds and middle-class bedrooms (locating its devil in the details
of suburbia), sneering and sniggering and smacking its lips in anticipation of the fall. Wholly despicable in its self-important self-contradictions, it shakes its head in disdain and disgust as it delights in dirty jokes (a grown man sniffing hungrily at pre-worn panties on his head) and dirty deeds (hard bodies pressed hard
against each other), indulging itself as it preaches self-denial, like the proverbial priest pawing the choirboy behind the church pulpit. Perhaps fittingly,
the character for whom LITTLE CHILDREN has the most sympathy is a predatory pedophile.

In the beginning, though, beyond the credit-roll pan of the home in which he lives with his mother, the camera salivating over the fragile porcelain figures of children lining the numerous shelves to which it will later return (the better to hit you over the head with, my dear), the pedophile is just an idea-- the obsession of an ex-policeman with a regrettable past act (Noah Emmerich as Larry Hedges), and the bane of the stay-at-home mothers who prattle in the park. Among those mothers, would-be anthropological observer and outcast Sarah Pierce (Kate Winslet), disheveled and disorganized, laments her flawed feminism and her abandoned academics. A sardonic and erratic voice-over, effecting one of the film's many
literary aspirations (it disappears and reappears according to the filmmakers' convenience), sets us up to identify with her, if only so it can slap us harder when she is hit with the film's moralistic conclusions.

Sarah is the film's Madame Bovary (another aspiration exposed, this time in explicit reference borrowed from the source novel's multiple, and unearned, pretensions),
unhappily married, made unhappy mother and seeking solace in an illicit affair. Discussions in the film on the novel, which have women characters debate whether Emma
was a slut or a feminist, or whether the latter presupposes the former, suggest that neither Field nor Perotta has deeper than a Cliff Notes' grasp of the French text--and that even with that they manage to betray it in their faux sophisticate
unraveling. In the end, they judge their modern day Emma in ways that would have made Flaubert cry. But Winslet is an absolute delight, giving both Sarah and Emma their due and making sense out of the nonsense the filmmakers have concocted. She creates a living, breathing, luminous woman from the ludicrous limning that they have provided. She single-handedly gives the film a greater force than Field
and Perotta might otherwise have achieved alone or together. (An impression left by the film, this was made evident in the course of a press screening in which Field responded snootily to a question regarding character motivation ("well, what happened in the scene right before that," he struck at the questioner like an impatient grade school teacher, before exasperatedly explaining something that was not in the film's logic), only to have Winslet respond later, briefly and with clear focus, what she understood and intended in the scene--an explanation that fit.)

Patrick Wilson (himself a pedophile in Hard Candy) is not required to do quite as much with his Brad Adamson, Sarah's partner in crime, but he comes through as
required to make likable a character the film ultimately disdains. A deliciously handsome stay-at-home dad the other moms call the "Prom King," the film mocks him
for his inability to pass the bar, his submissiveness to his Alpha wife (a harpy Jennifer Connelly, poorly served by her role), and his succumbing to the ostensibly
uncharming charms of Sarah (unpersuasively dowdy given Winslet's persona, she is made, at worst, a tad bit awkward). It is, in this, remarkably not just sexist,
but machisto.

Sweaty scenes, in which the film revels with us, aside, Field and Perottta condemn the soon indulgent lusty lovers for their unwillingness to transfer their faith
in potential from their own lives to their children's (or so the press notes say, and so the film reveals). Their support of each other, their enjoyment of each
other's joys, these are things they must be made to grow out of. Adulthood is serious business in the view of this film, bad marriages things to be suffered stoically. And what parents owe their children is at very least the sacrifice of everything they ever were and ever wanted (the film's only ideal parent is the sex offender's mother, named May, as in Robeson, because she gives herself, life and death, to her demon-possessed offspring at the expense of all others). Disconnected, discontented souls coming together on a kiss and a dare, Sarah and Brad are the unsaved sinners at the center of this sermon.

And what of the actual criminal in their midst? Pedophilophobia so five minutes ago, I guess, the press notes tell us that we are supposed to see the already convicted ill-deed doer not as a real threat to the community, but rather as a sort of Grendel among them, "a receptacle to rationalize . . . fear and desire without self-examination." (One can only imagine that if asked, these grad-school arrested philosophizers would claim that the frequent references to castration (at least three in the film's first 30 minutes) mark not a puerile obsession with things penile, but just a high-minded allusion to the monster's sword-wielding severed arm or his Beowulf-beheaded corpse.)

Jackie Earle Haley, grown up among the Bad News Bears, plays Ronnie J. McGorvey as a grotesquely skeletal monster of a manchild, snivelly and ominously odd. Recently released from prison, he is no less disturbing when he whimpers "Mommy," than when we hear him masturbate to the squeaking springs of a parked car. All the same, god-figures Field and Perotta judge harshly those who would judge him, for though he
would molest our children, really, is he not just a child himself, symbol for the dangers to which we subject them ourselves? Perhaps inspired by the lair of evil waters Grendel shared with his mother, beneath which, some professors say, lay dangerous and unrealized human anxiety over loss and abandonment (Grendel and his mother were descendants of the ever-ostracized Cain), the filmmakers present us with a pivotal scene at the neighborhood swimming pool. While preening dullards and adulterous lovers delight in the sun of the day, the monster dons snorkeling gear and dives in below the surface where their children are swimming, lingering lasciviously on the children's tiny bottoms. When the crowd responds with communal horror, removing their little ones from the creature's grasp and staring him down with unwelcoming gaze, the camera fisheyes them accusingly, embracing the predator,
conversely, in a fishbowl effect, as a mournfully misbegotten child. The filmmakers linger on the scene as if it were their masterpiece. As if great meaning were to come from it. Alas, alack, how wrong we've been to miss the light. I was blind, but now I see.

Well filmed though it is, it's a hatefully self-impressed piece of footage. And too self-conscious to be effective under any rationale. The story, I'm truly sorry to say, goes from bad to worse from there, alternatingly snide and reproachful and
increasingly infuriating. By the time it ends (with a denouement we're begged not to reveal), and despite the biblical touches, you're more likely to want to pass the ammunition than praise the lord.

There is some coherence to the film, to be fair. The actors acquit themselves well, though one wonders what they could have been thinking, and the cinematography is at times rather good. Moreover, Field, who last graced us with the profoundly irritating In the Bedroom (a once ballyhooed piece of triteness now frequently seen following the short-memory-minted term "overpraised") is well matched with Perotta, of the mean-spirited Election, a writer whose taste for snarky derision passes for sly wit among the low literati. Both seem to believe that they are far more intelligent, moral and mature than their audience, and that we have much to learn.
And both seem convinced that the best place from which to tell a tale is on a perch looking down and over their noses.

Sitting under them, however, as they drop their cheap glass pearls of wisdom mercilessly down upon us, is neither pleasant nor advisable.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Below


It's WWII. We're aboard an American submarine on patrol in the North Atlantic. Bruce Greenwood is the skipper. So far, so good.

The sub picks up three survivors of a sunken hospital ship and, before you know it, things get bad. So does the movie.

BELOW, you see, is a "ghosts on a sub" movie. It's a terrific premise, one that promises a combination of claustrophobia and creeping horror. Unfortunately, the film is happy to settle for jump scares, sound effects, and confusion. Greenwood lazily channels Sam Neill in EVENT HORIZON, and the rest of the cast can't even keep up with that.

What a disappointment.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Shooter


SHOOTER is your basic action/conspiracy thriller, starring Mark Wahlberg as the former superdupersoldier who can ... not ... be ... stopped.

Which is fine, and lots of stuff goes boom and all. But what makes this movie interesting are Danny Glover, Ned Beatty, and Elias Koteas as villains. These are not names I normally associate with villainy, and it's great fun to watch Glover do "efficiently amoral," Beatty do "self-interested evil," and Koteas do "batshit crazy." Further, the excellent Michael Peña (BABEL, CRASH, MILLION DOLLAR BABY) does fine work as the noble FBI agent, and I'm actually coming to like Kate Mara (pictured), whom I found grating in ZOOM.

But this movie is so pedestrian, so lacking in creativity or unique voice, that I can give it no more than the most lukewarm approval. If you like watching stuff blow up and you find SHOOTER on cable, you could do a lot worse. But don't go out of your way for it.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

The Three Musketeers


The 1948 "Three Musketeers" is big time, Golden Age Hollywood filmmaking at its best. With big stars, lavish costumes, great sets, and lots of practical stuntwork, this Technicolor gem is as much fun today as it was the day it first screened.

Gene Kelly stars as D'Artagnan in this adaptation, and it's a terrific casting choice. Since filmed swordplay is basically dancing, putting an accomplished dancer in the role allows the fight choreographer to have some fun with his sequences. Kelly leaps, flips, thrusts, and parries with aplomb, convincing us that he is a hell of a swordsman. Combine this with his everyman attitude, and we believe in him as a rube just in from the country. His new comrades (Van Heflin, Gig Young, and Robert Coote) appear to be having a wonderful time, lending the proceedings precisely the devil-may-care attitude they need to capture Dumas's tone.

But you can't have heroes without villains. With Lana Turner as the Lady De Winter and Vincent Price as Cardinal Richelieu, our heroes are up against the very best. It's a pleasure to watch them all do their work.

It doesn't end there, however. Check out the undercard: June Allyson as Constance, Angela Lansbury as Queen Anne, Frank Morgan as King Louis the XIII, and Keenan Wynn as Planchett. Was there anyone sitting in the MGM cafeteria who didn't get roped into this thing?

All those names aren't enough for you, eh? Well, you can always enjoy the pretty pictures. MGM's costumers put some velvet wholesaler's kid through college with this one, with one lavish getup after another. It's wonderful, in that Golden Age way. Similarly, its set designers went to the trouble of getting every little detail just right, even if the location worked screamed "California." (An aside: the Musketeers are riding down a beach along the English Channel. Observed my 8-yr-old, "Hey, isn't that the beach from 'Planet of the Apes'?" That's my boy!)

But the fight scenes are what really sell this movie. I love practical stuntwork, and "The Three Musketeers" features some impressive stunts. You have the standard jumping on and off of horses, which we're used to, by now. But there are a number of multilevel falls that look challenging and authentic, and the swordplay is uniformly terrific.

In other words, the 1948 "The Three Musketeers" is great fun. Thanks again, TCM, for another wonderful presentation.

Friday, August 08, 2008

Mrs. Henderson Presents


"Mrs. Henderson Presents" is the true(ish) story of Laura Henderson, an Englishwoman of an age, class, and means to do however she damn well pleases. After her husband passes away just prior to the film's beginning, she chooses to buy a theater and, well, put on a show. Since she knows nothing of show business, Mrs. Henderson must hire a manager: Mr. Van Damm. He thrills at the prospect of running his own SoHo theater, but finds himself almost immediately at loggerheads with the busybody Mrs. Henderson. So what? Well, their theater, The Windmill, was the only one to stay open throughout WWII. It was underground, so some thought it the best possible place to weather The Blitz.

Sounds tedious, I know. But Stephen Frears directs Judi Dench as Mrs. Henderson and Bob Hoskins as Mr. Van Damm. That's a formula for success, right there. And, c'mon, when Christopher Guest is your foil, how can you go wrong? Thus it is that "Mrs. Henderson Presents" presents us with that old chestnut, the "Let's put on a show" show, and makes it work. Here's a movie that knows what it has in Dench and Hoskins and happily gives them room to find a comfortable zone of friendly antagonism and good fun. It doesn't hurt that the shows they put on are pretty darn good, to boot, with catchy production numbers like "Goody Goody" and "Babies of the Blitz" putting a smile on my face and a tap in my toes.

In fact, I smiled all through "Mrs. Henderson Presents," thoroughly enjoying the company of Dench and Hoskins as they put on their shows. Here's a movie I could easily see again.

PS I forgot to mention the elephant in the room. There is quite a bit of nudity in "Mrs. Henderson Presents." Those of you who've been waiting for a Bob Hoskins full frontal nude scene, wait no longer!

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Away From Her


"On your right is a man. He's heartbroken. Broken into a million pieces."

That line, muttered by an Alzheimer's patient, comes about halfway through "Away From Her," Sarah Polley's confident and effective first film. It refers to the film's protagonist, and it wants to refer to us, for "Away From Her" is a movie that's out to break our hearts.

I don't see how it can't, really. The subject matter - the loss of a spouse to Alzheimer's Disease - is inherently heartbreaking, so much so that I began to apply the "endangered child" rule to the film. The "endangered child" rule goes like this: since we're genetically programmed to respond to endangered children, we check for cheap manipulation by asking, "Would the situation affect us this much if no children were involved?" In this case, the question becomes, "Is the situation handled effectively and honestly? Am I watching art or exploitation?" I wrestled with this, and almost came down on the side of exploitation at the quoted line. Then, however, I observed Gordon Pinsent as the heartbroken man. His was a reserved, inward performance; not one easily read. And yes, his heart was breaking, breaking into a million pieces. And he broke mine, too.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Planet of the Apes


The 1968 "Planet of the Apes" is first-class science fiction. It does all the things science fiction is supposed to do: it creates a believable world, populates it with interesting characters, and uses those characters in that world to comment on the issues of the day.

During its development phase, it's clear that "Planet"'s creative team took the time to think their ape society through. The team created a coherent and believable timeline, architecture, and culture, which led to an immersive experience for me and my spawn. Then they cast the apes with quality actors such as Roddy McDowell, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, and James Whitmore, all actors able to generate authenticity even when acting behind masks. And of course, Charlton Heston can carry a movie in his sleep. "Get your hands off me, you damn dirty apes!" has moved into the lexicon, but it's dramatically effective because we believe in Heston's desperation and fury, even as we see the perspective of the apes.

These elements can lead to a good movie, but "Planet of the Apes" is good science fiction because it also works as a fable of science versus superstition. Further, I was impressed with the way it turns in upon itself, questions its own premise. Sure, there are some hamfisted "Never trust anyone over 30" moments, but "Planet" is smarter than I'd given it credit for.

And then, of course, there's the ending. Perhaps the best thing about watching this movie, for me, was watching my son describe it to his mom later that evening. "And then he went around the corner and he saw the (spoiler deleted) and said (spoiler deleted). Because it was (spoiler deleted). Isn't that cool?!? Isn't it?!? Isn't it?!?"

How awesome can you get?

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Sullivan's Travels


"Sullivan's Travels" didn't work for me. I blame Veronica Lake.

Sure, she had great hair. But it seems that's all she had. Her delivery was uninspiring, her character dull, and she dragged down every scene she was in.

It's too bad, really. "Sullivan's Travels" has some cracking dialogue, some unexpected twists, and some interesting things to say about the intersection of art and commerce. Preston Sturges, obviously, knows how to direct a picture, and Joel McCrae is fine as the idealistic wunderkind out to learn about life's hard knocks. But Lake, ugh. How did she get to be a star?

Monday, August 04, 2008

I Am Legend


"I Am Legend" is a big movie, with expensive special effects and big-budget location work. Some stuff even blows up real good. But it wouldn't work if Will Smith couldn't hold it together.

And he does. When we meet his character, the last man in New York (and, possibly, the world), we find a guy who is keeping it together through a combination of resourcefulness, regimentation, and sense of humor. Smith can sell that without breaking a sweat. As the film, goes on, however, we begin to see the cracks in his armor; we begin to see that he's going insane. There's a moment in the film when he reaches his emotional nadir. It's a horrifying moment that breaks one of the rules of storytelling, and the movie breaks our hearts with nothing more complex than a long closeup on the actor's face. This is Best Actor stuff and, though Smith won an MTV Movie Award and a Saturn Award for his work, neither of those mean "respect" like the little bald guy.

As for the movie itself, it's good stuff right up to the very end. I was right there with Smith on every step of his character's emotional journey, right up to the very end. At the very end, I wanted to throw a rock through my television screen. But then I saw the original ending, and I only wanted to throw a Nerf rock at it. Still not great, but not as bad as the terrible denoument those who saw this in theaters got.

And Smith, well, Smith's just awesome. "I Am Legend" is worth it for his work alone.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Juno


You know how, when you go see a Shakespeare play, you spend the first five or ten minutes just trying to figure out what everyone's saying; then your brain clicks into Elizabethan mode and the dialogue becomes clear as daylight? Same thing happens with "Juno."

Fifteen year old Juno speaks in the deeply idiomatic parlance of adolescence, a language so particular to time and place that it's nearly a foreign tongue to everyone not of it. Once we attune to that parlance, however, we find her dealing with some of the most serious issues a young person can face with a healthy mixture of style, brains, and staggering immaturity. In other words, she's a reasonably together teenager, one I'd be happy to call my daughter.

Yes, this is a "teenage pregnancy" movie, but it's a sharp teenage pregnancy movie, one willing to style the teenager in question as (within the range of a 15-yr-old) mistress of her own destiny. Further, it's willing to play with our conceptions of its characters, finding sympathy in some unexpected places and blinding selfishness in others, and charting those journeys in unique and interesting ways.

Screenwriter Diablo Cody is being heralded as the next big thing. I don't know if that's the case, but I do know that she's written a sharp, funny, good movie with "Juno." After five or ten minutes, I could even figure out what everyone was saying.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Finding Nemo


Oh, how I adore "Finding Nemo."

My two-year-old has just discovered it, and it's now on nearly constant rotation on the enormovision. I never tire of the film, and I suspect that's because of three reasons: compelling story, fine performances, and beautiful images.

The story is delightfully dad-centric, a rarity in this or any other genre. Marlin the clownfish is overprotective of his little Nemo and his worst fears are realized on the very first day of school: Nemo is captured by scuba divers and taken far away, and it's up to dad to find him and save him. As a dad, how can I not respond to that? How can I not relate to the conflict between Marlin's desire to shield his son from harm and his duty to expose him to risk? How can I not relate to his desperation, his determination, his no-choice-but-to-see-this-thing-through? And when Nemo learns that his dad is, in fact, supercool, well, what father doesn't want to be a hero in the eyes of his children?

This story is brought to life through well-written situations and dialogue, performed by first-class actors such as Albert Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Willem Dafoe, and Geoffrey Rush. They hit not a single sour note, and they manage to immerse me in the goings on from start to finish.

And speaking of immersion, "Finding Nemo" immerses us in a beautiful world with a stricking color palette. It's bright and rich and endlessly interesting, and when it's on it lights up the whole basement. In fact, I have one of the DVD's special features, a virtual aquarium, going right now. This world is so captivating that it makes me want to dust off my old scuba card, fly somewhere nice, and take a plunge. This is a beautiful, beautiful film. I don't think I'll ever tire of it.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Last Holiday


“Last Holiday” asks the question, “Is Queen Latifah sufficiently charismatic to carry a paper-thin story whose every beat will be familiar to all but the youngest children?" Fortunately, the answer is yes.

In “Last Holiday,” Her Grace plays a department store cookware demonstrator who learns that she has an inoperable brain condition. She quits her job, sells her investments, walks away from the man who doesn’t even know she loves him (L.L. Cool J, making me wish I had a more bitchin’ name), and heads to an exclusive ski resort high in the Alps. There, she plans to live her life to the fullest up to the very last moment. This is a comedy, so now you know exactly what will happen. Fortunately, Her Majesty is a charming woman with whom it’s a pleasure to spend 90 minutes. As one nice thing after another happens to her, you can't help but smile along, enjoying the general sense of goodwill the film creates.

Her Majesty gets first-class supporting work from a cast including Timothy Hutton, Gerard Depardieu, Giancarlo Esposito, Michael Nouri, Alicia Witt, and the aforementioned Mr. J. Timothy Hutton, as the villainous owner of the department store chain (who just happens to show up at the resort), is note perfect. He’s despicable but not too despicable, evil but not too evil, and he's clearly having as much fun as anyone in the audience.

And this movie is very fun. If you'd like to spice it up, try watching it with a child who will worry about the star's fate, then watch his or her reaction when the inevitable happens. It's a treat, and it's the kind of experience that adds to the warm, comfort-food experience that is "Last Holiday."

Friday, July 25, 2008

Space Chimps


On Friday, we found out that my wife is pregnant. As we sat down for a pre-movie lunch on Saturday, she opened two bottles of a charming Sicilian brew called Birra Morretti Rosso, one for me and one for her. Then we both remembered – no alcohol for the duration.

Thus it was that I rolled into “Space Chimps” with two drinks under my belt. I strongly recommend that you do the same.

You know your movie is in big trouble when Patrick Warburton can’t save it. Warburton plays the foil, a champ chimp who treats the new guy like a chump (By the way, if you think that was funny, see this movie today. You’ll love it.). Warburton chomps (!) into the role with his usual gusto, but not even he can breathe any real life into a character whose primary role is to (a) serve as a comic foil and (b) make jokes that consist of inserting the word “chimp” into other words. It’s chimpdiculous. Andy Samberg, batting 0 for 2 in comic films, voices the Chimp Out of Water, Hal III, who’s forced to leave his circus gig to join NASA. His delivery is limp. Perhaps he’d make a good gimp. Even better if he dressed like a pimp.

Aw, to hell with it. “Space Chimps” is poorly written, poorly animated, poorly executed rubbish. Every lame joke I’ve made in this post is better than the entirety of the film. Chimp this one out.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Batman






So there I am on the couch, a two-year-old balanced on my forehead and an eight-year-old sitting on my chest, while "Batman" plays in the background. It hurts. "How did I get myself into this?" I think. Then Lee Meriwether, in a corset-tight catsuit, comes slinking onto the screen. "Oh, yeah. That's how."

Not that the feature-length "Batman" is only about Lee Meriwether in a corset. It also features Riddler Frank Gorshin in a girdle, though he chooses to wear his on the outside of his costume. And then there's Cesar Romero's Joker, who can't be bothered to shave his moustache, so he simply applies his white makeup over it in hopes that no one will notice. But the king of 'em all is clearly the fabulous Burgess Meredith as Penguin, who manages to simultaneously act his pants off _and_ ham it up, all while having a wonderful time.

And "Batman" feels like a wonderful time. There's a scene in which Robin says something like, "Why'd you save that bar full of drunks, Batman?" Batman replies, "They may be drunks, Robin, but they can still be redeemed." I know, I just _know_, that, at that moment, the cast and crew hoisted a round of frothy mugs at their screening (and kept raising them well into the night). This movie is so silly, so joyfully, gleefully campy, that you can't help but think it was as much fun to make as it is to watch. And who carries it? Yep, Adam West and Burt Ward as Batman and Robin. God bless 'em: they're terrible actors, but they're game for anything. No matter how ridiculous the scene, these ultimate squares keep their heads up and refuse to wink at the camera. Of course, their earnest delivery makes things all the sillier.

But silliness alone isn't enough to sell a movie. "Batman" is serious about some things, and it displays a level of craft I certainly did not expect. The bright, cartoonish color palette is both visually pleasing and remarkably consistent. The costuming, lighting, and sound are crisp and professional, even if jarring uses of stock footage of things like Polaris missiles sometimes throws things off. The Blu-Ray edition of this film really shines, and I've got to admit that it was a pleasure to watch.

I fired up "Batman" so my older boy would finally get all the "Batman" references in 'Sponge Bob Square Pants' and 'The Fairly Oddparents.' I never dreamed I'd actually get an enjoyable movie, in the process. Good for you, Batman!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Rambo


"Rambo" ain't got time for character development.

Well, I guess it does, if you count an evangelical Western doctor realizing that, sometimes, you've just gotta bash a man's head in with a rock. Or Rambo getting in touch with his inner ... Rambo. But other than that, this movie's all about the viscera, man.

Here's the deal: John Rambo's a snake wrangler in upcountry Thailand (I'm gonna guess somewhere near Chiang Mai, where one of my sisters-in-law lives. She tells me it's quite nice. They have a Dairy Queen, a Home Depot, and a muy thai boxing instructor I think she has a crush on. But that's neither here nor there.). He lives rather a solitary life; just him, his two employees, and his steroid connection. When a group of medical missionaries asks him to take them upriver to savage Burma, he tells them to blow: they can't handle the horror, the horror. But when one of the missionaries, Fay Wr- no, Naomi Ca- no, Julie Benz tries to talk him into it, can beauty get through to the simple beast Rambo has become? Well, when the power of pheremones compels you, there's not much you can do. Soon, Rambo's taking the group upriver, slaying some pirates, and sending the missionaries on their way.

Rambo thinks nothing of it when he never hears from them again, but then The White Shadow himself, Ken Howard, shows up on his makeshift doorstep to tell him that the missionaries have (predictably) disappeared. This leaves Rambo with a tough decision: does he keep to himself and let the world go by, or does he forge himself up a new combat knife and get involved? Well, I'm here to tell you, when The White Shadow tells you to drive to the hoop, you drive to the f*in' hoop. And thus, John Rambo chooses to embrace his destiny as a killing machine and find comradeship with other killing machines.

That's, like, the first twenty minutes. The rest is carnage. So much carnage, such a ridiculously enormously unbelievable amount of carnage, that I laughed out loud at Stallone's wilingness to go so far over the top that I half-expected him to kill the big villain through ultimate arm wrestling. Is it entertaining? If you like to watch things go "Boom!" Is it engaging? If you want to lay odds on the number of barrels of Kensington Gore used in its making. Can it be the centerpiece of an evening with the guys, a couple of pizzas, and a case of Bud? You betcha.

So, yeah, I'd see it again. Under the proper circumstances.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind


So, "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind," George Clooney's directorial debut. Sam Rockwell, the Once and Future Zaphod Beeblbrox, plays 'Gong Show' creator Chuck Barris in the kind of autobiography one might expect when listening to the life story of a compulsive liar. I don't even know if the real Barris is a compulsive liar, but this tale is so cool, has so many loose ends, and makes such a fun antihero of Barris that it set off my bullshit alarm in a big, big way.

But pay no attention to the bullshit alarm. Focus, instead, on the cool and fun story of a guy whose contempt for his fellow man led to a small fortune in the world of television (This part really happened.), astonishing success with women (This part probably happened - I'm told that cocaine is a remarkable drug.), and survival in the deadly world of international espionage (Bullshit!). Sam Rockwell (quickly becoming one of my favorite actors) as Chuck Barris is a hustler born, and watching him hustle his way through life is a great deal of fun. George Clooney does a fine job of making a tiny film seem less tiny through the inclusion of a quality supporting cast - I mean, who else could have gotten Julia Roberts and Drew Barrymore to show up in such a tiny film? And the whole thing hums along in a sort of alcoholic - nihilistic - bullshitter's groove.

I liked it.