Airport '75

AIRPORT got my hopes up.  The film was technically accurate (within reason), well plotted, and an all-around good time at the movies.  AIRPORT ‘75, unfortunately, does not live up to the standards of its predecessor.

Yes, the film has its share of big stars, including Myrna Loy, Gloria Swanson, and Larry Storch.  Yes, George Kennedy is back to play The George Kennedy Role.  And, yes, there’s another plane in peril.  But AIRPORT ’75 isn’t technically accurate, tightly plotted, or even all that much fun.

Let’s start with the technical inaccuracies.  Where AIRPORT’s Air Traffic Control calls sounded realistic to my professional ear, AIRPORT ‘75’s sounded like they were written by a guy whose only exposure to them came from watching AIRPORT.  The airplane itself did not respond in a manner consistent with the damage it was supposed to have taken at the end of the first act.  And the relationships between the corporate, governmental, and military stakeholders in the aviation system had no relation to reality whatsoever.  Part of the fun of AIRPORT was the sense it gave us that, in the event of a situation such as the one depicted in the film, this was how events could generally be expected to play out.  AIRPORT ’75 can’t provide that because it doesn’t even try to stay grounded in reality.

As I wrote, ’75 isn’t tightly plotted.  There are entire subplots about faulty engines and fuel leaks that go precisely nowhere.  There’s a long bit about sick girl that’s resolved so sloppily that it’s clear the screenwriters forgot all about her until the last minute.  And the film makes it difficult to invest in the plucky flight attendant who saves the day by painting her as mouth-breathing moron.

But at least AIRPORT ’75 can offer tedium.  It gives us pointless celebrity cameos, characters that do nothing, and a secondary female lead whose only function is to stand around and appeal to the subsection of the male demographic that isn’t attracted to the first female lead.  This is a bad movie and an unworthy successor to AIRPORT.  How I dread AIRPORT ’77.

Sudden Fear

The creepiest moment in SUDDEN FEAR occurs in the first five minutes. An actor onstage recites the lines, “You are all the women in my life. You are the sister I never had, the mother I’ve almost forgotten, the wife I have always dreamed of. There isn’t a relationship you can name which exists between a man and a woman in which I wouldn’t say, ’Let it be you.’” Jack Palance plays the actor. Joan Crawford plays the writer of those cringe-inducing words.

Ms. Crawford goes on to fire Mr. Palance in short order, and it’s in the first act of SUDDEN FEAR that she shines. She plays a driven, hard-bitten woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it, and I bought her in the role. When she and Palance meet again, I settled in for a battle of titans. Alas, I didn’t get one, for Palance blows Crawford off the screen for the rest of the picture. Palance charms Crawford, you see, and Joan Crawford simply does not do “charmed.” While I believed in Palance’s actions and motives, the only thing I believed about Crawford was that she spent too much time at the makeup counter.

Fortunately, there’s more to SUDDEN FEAR than Joan Crawford. The story is first-class noir; Elmer Bernstein’s score is first rate; and the photography, well, the photography shows us yet again that black and white can suggest silky depths of which color can only dream.

So perhaps the female lead will put you off. But pay no mind, for Jack Palance makes up for it. SUDDEN FEAR may not hold a spot among the elite of the noirs, but it remains a solid entry all the same. It’s just the thing for a long trip.

Airport

Sooner or later, I had to get around to watching AIRPORT. Technically accurate (w/in the limits of the dramatic imperative), well cast, and remarkably engaging, this turned out to be a pretty doggone good movie.

Burt Lancaster plays an airport manager having the worst day of his life. A blizzard is making conditions at his airport the worst they’ve been in ten years. Some bonehead pilot has taxied off the primary runway and into a snowdrift. His wife’s mad at him. His boss is on his butt. And now his jerkwad brother in law, a no-good airline pilot (and really, is there any other kind?) just declared an emergency because some moron blew a hole in the side of his plane. Someone picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue.

This is a well-made picture. The folks behind it did their research, because they nailed many of the technical details. Air Traffic Control calls sound like Air Traffic Control calls. Cockpit banter sounds like cockpit banter. Things function and people work together in a manner that generally mirrors my experience in the airline industry. That surprised me, and it helped me stay in the moment for the duration of the film.

Further, AIRPORT is exceptionally well cast. I don’t know whether this was the first all-star disaster movie, but you certainly can’t go wrong with performers like the aforementioned Mr. Lancaster, Dean Martin as the no-good pilot, George Kennedy in what would come to be known as “The George Kennedy Role,” and even Helen Hayes as the little old felonious lady.

Finally, the film moves right along, making two hours and sixteen minutes fly right by. Knowing that we know it’s going to be a disaster movie, AIRPORT takes its time setting up the crisis. We get to know the featured players. We come to care about them. When the hits start coming, we’ve locked in. I bit my nails nearly to the end credits.

While I never watch films I don’t think I’ll enjoy, I fired up AIRPORT half-expecting a campy, ridiculous pantomime of a film. I’m pleasantly surprised, and I look forward to AIRPORT 75.

Paris 36

PARIS 36 is a wonderful film, which I think rare among pictures whose charm rests upon major assumptions about their audiences. PARIS 36, you see, assumes that you love Paris. I can’t think of a safer bet. If you’re alive, you love Paris. Even if you’ve never been to Paris, you love Paris - you just don’t know it yet.

So, what happens in PARIS 36? Well, young gamins sing and play the accordion along the banks of the Seine, the cathedral of Notre Dame in the background. Lovers meet on rooftops, where the city glitters below them and the Eiffel Tower shines in the distance. Evildoers skulk in alleyways, true friends stand together, and love conquers all. Oh, and there’s a show. Of course, it must go on.

For PARIS 36 is a show picture, a movie about theater people and the romances and dangers of their lives. Its production numbers, even its disastrous production numbers, burst with a love for performance and an exuberance that lifts the heart. It’s exciting, and fun, and everything a night out at the show can promise.

I loved it. I loved its vistas even as I saw them for the scenery they were. I loved its people and its songs and its enthusiastic embrace of all things Life. I particularly loved how it made me fall in love with Paris all over again.

See this movie.

Extract

For a comedy, EXTRACT isn’t very funny. It’s kinda sad, and it kinda rocks along pleasantly for an hour and a half on Jason Bateman’s likeability, but I only laughed twice (and that was in the first fifteen minutes).

Bateman plays the owner of a flavoring company. A chemist, he created a better vanilla extract. He rolled that creation into a modest operation that employs about fifty people and pays the mortgage on one of those ghastly mcmansions out in the exurbs. So he’s doing ok. But he’s tired of the business. He thinks his wife has lost interest in sex. He’s ready for a change.

Change comes in the form of Mila Kunis, a small-time grifter looking for a big-time score. There’s your movie.

EXTRACT has some solid things going for it. Bateman has perfect comic timing, and a supporting cast that includes Ben Affleck, J.K. Simmons, and Kristen Wiig hits all the right notes. But it felt more bittersweet than funny, and I came to it looking for funny.

So there you have it. Extract’s fine. I actually feel a little bad about not flat-out recommending it. If you like bittersweet, however, this one might be for you.