The Waterboy

THE WATERBOY, a vintage Adam Sandler comedy from his “inappropriately aggressive man-child” phase, is an underdog sports comedy that has the titular water boy fired from LSU and sent to work at Louisiana’s last-place football college. Soon, he discovers a talent for sacking quarterbacks and makes the team, despite the fact that he seems to have an IQ of roughly 50. This movie works because it will do anything, absolutely anything, for a laugh. Think watching Fairuza Balk bite the heads off a baby ‘gator on a stick is funny? It’s in there! Think ‘70s fashion and hairstyles are funny? They’re in there! Think guys with crazy eyes and silly voices are funny? Well, you get the point.

Some of THE WATERBOY’s gags are funny, but most aren’t. However, seeing as how there’s roughly a gag a minute in this picture, you’re sure to find a several that’ll make you chuckle and, hopefully, one or two that will make you laugh out loud. That ain’t bad.

Acepted

ACCEPTED is your basic slobs vs. snobs comedy, anchored by Justin Long and set in an upstart college that dares to let students study whatever they want, on their own, as their path to self-actualization.

Long is likeable enough, the movie rocks along all right, and I chuckled once or twice, but it got me to thinking. ACCEPTED is both a wish fulfillment fantasy and a commentary on the current state of American society. Let's set aside, for now, the hypocrisy of the incredibly competitive entertainment industry in distributing a movie that celebrates just letting it all hang out. I'm more interested in the film's assumption that going to college in order to set oneself up for a decent job is a pale excuse for education when measured against finding oneself. Tell that to college kids in Bangalore and Dalian – the kids who are overtaking the US in technical innovation and international patent applications. They're in it for material gain, to compete in the global market, while American kids flee the hard sciences and engineering in favor of liberal arts degrees that feel good but both fail to prepare them for the international job market and keep them from being able to help maintain America's technical
edge.

Have we truly left the American work ethic behind, yearning instead for unlimited time to work the half-pipe and take pictures of girls in bikinis? If so, then look out, America: in another generation or two, we'll be the call the center operators of the world. Talking will be all we know how to do.

Fixed Bayonets!

FIXED BAYONETS! lays it right out for you in the opening lines, when one GI opines, "It takes more than brains to be a general. It takes guts to lead." And that's pretty much your movie. When Corporal Denno (Richard Basehart) admits that he doesn't have the guts to lead men in battle and thanks God that there's a lieutenant and three sergeants between him and command, we know that it's Four Little Indians and then this guy's gotta find out what he's made of.

From the IMDB (corrected for grammar):

The premise of this film is factually based on Task Force Faith in the Korean War: In late November 1950, the Chinese struck along the Chongchon River and overran several ROK divisions, landing an extremely heavy blow on the flank of the remaining UN forces. The resulting withdrawal of the United States Eighth Army was the longest retreat of an American unit in national history. In the east, at the Battle of Chosin Reservoir (November 26–December 13) a 3,000 man unit from the US 7th Infantry Division, Task Force Faith, was virtually wiped out, with significant hand to hand fighting. The Marines fared better; though surrounded and forced to retreat, they inflicted heavy casualties on the Chinese, who committed 6 divisions while trying to
destroy the Marines.

Of the 2,500 troops trapped by the Chinese, about 1,500 eventually made it back to American lines, the majority of them wounded or badly frostbitten. Roughly 300 able-bodied survivors were formed into a provisional battalion which was attached to the Marines and fought with them in the breakout of the 1st Marine Division during the remainder of the Battle of Chosin Reservoir. Over 1,000 soldiers of Task Force Faith were killed or died in Chinese captivity.

In FIXED BAYONETS!, a 2-Star tells his colonels that he needs a platoon to cover his division's retreat, fooling the Chinese into
thinking that he hasn't retreated at all. CPL Denno's platoon draws the short straw, and from there it's all about 36 guys trying to stay alive in the snow while Denno doesn't so much shirk responsibility as hope it doesn't fall on his shoulders. It could be so much drek, but it's brought to life by a man uniquely qualified to do so: co-screenwriter and director Samuel Fuller.

From Wikipedia: During World War II, Fuller joined the Army. He was assigned to the 1st Infantry Division, and saw heavy fighting. He was involved in landings in Africa, Sicily, and Normandy. He also saw action in Belgium and Czechoslovakia. For his service, he was awarded the Bronze Star, the Silver Star, and the Purple Heart.

Fuller understands the Army, he understands combat, and he understands platoon dynamics, which lends FIXED BAYONETS! an authenticity I hadn't expected. It gives the story urgency and drama, and it helps to create a thoroughly engrossing military thriller, even if we are absolutely certain of how CPL Denno will respond when the chips are down. In this case, it isn't so much the destination as it is the journey, and FIXED BAYONETS! is the closest you can get to winter in Korea without getting frostbite.

This is an excellent movie.

Sympathy for Mister Vengeance

Chan Wook Park's SYMPATHY FOR MR. VENGEANCE is a beautiful, horrifying, depressing, and thoroughly successful picture. With the exception of a final scene so implausible that it drew me out of the movie, SFMV captured and held my attention and imagination, even when I wanted to look away.

Park, the director behind JSA and OLDBOY, knows how to compose a scene. The color palette (Does green have special significance in Korean iconography?), set decoration, and placement of the actors themselves work together time and again to not only drive the narrative but generate stills I'd be happy to linger over in book form. While Park's composition can deliver real beauty, it can also deliver real horror. Be warned: SFMV is a horrifying movie, with many shots more akin to Miike than Malick. You may want to think twice before screening it for your friends, and I had to flip the screen down on my portable DVD player more than once to avoid disturbing those around me on the Metro.

As Don alluded in his comments on HOSTEL, horror works best when we've invested in its characters. SFMV's cast, including JSA's Kang-Ho Song (also excellent in MEMORIES OF MURDER) and Ha-Kyun Shin, bring their characters fully to life and give us people for whom we hope and fear. I'd like to take special note of Shin, who says more with his deaf-mute character than some actors do with 90 minutes-worth of dialogue. This investment has a downside, however: SFMV is just plain depressing. It gives us people we like and proceeds to punish them, punish them, and punish them some more. But here's the brilliance of this movie: just when things are at their worst, it gives us a chance to say, "Wow, what a shot!" Its artistry actually serves to give us the distance to stay engaged in the film. Without it, the experience would be too much.

SYMPATHY FOR MR. VENGEANCE works. It just plain does. On every level. This is the kind of movie I could watch again and again, finding more in the composition and structure, more in the events and performances. Rent it today.