The Equalizer; Into the Woods; Going Clear

The Equalizer

Lone superman eliminates the entire Russian Mafia in Boston.  I don’t get it – it’s not like they killed his dog.

Yes, The Equalizer is basically John Wick with Denzel Washington.  I’m actually ok with that, because I liked John Wick and I like Denzel Washington.  I liked The Equalizer, but I didn’t love it for two reasons.  First, it was so bleak that I felt depressed while it was on.  Second, the fight choreography and photography weren’t particularly compelling.

If I were the kind of guy who gave scores, I’d add bonus points for the Chloë Grace Moretz's turn as an actress affirming that, yes, she is the next Jodie Foster.  Further, I’d add points for casting Marton Csokas as the villain.  He’s kind of a stock Russian baddie, but he was in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.  And I really love Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

Into the Woods

About halfway through Into the Woods, I paused it checked to IMDB to learn whether the guy who wrote the music is the same guy who wrote Cats.  I hate Cats.

That said, Into the Woods does provide yet another example of why Meryl Streep is enjoying such a long and lauded career.  Frankly, it's as if she were in a different movie.  While the rest of the performers seem to be there to make one of two statements ("I may be a movie/tv star, but I can do musical theater!"  "I may be a Broadway star, but I can do movies!"), Streep is assaying an actual character.  Yes, she sings and dances, but she's alive and she brings the movie alive whenever she's onscreen.

Perhaps I'll remember Into the Woods as the move that made me think, 'Maybe I will queue up Ricki and the Flash, after all.'

Going Clear

One day, my college roommate came home with a copy of Dianetics.  I threw a fit, warned him not to get involved with that evil cult, and convinced him to toss the book.  Going Clear, a documentary exposing Scientology, proves me right nearly thirty years later.  I’m just glad my roommate listened to me way back when.

While the film lingers a bit too long on celebrity scandal for my taste, it succeeds in making its case that Scientiology is an evil, rapacious swindle.  It does so in a careful, compelling way that makes it succeed as entertainment, as well.  I recommend this one without reservation.

 

 

Twilight

If you're a fan of the _Twilight_ books, you're gonna love this movie. If you haven't read 'em, you're going to be like me, asking the women in the room, "Why did she do that? What's going on with that guy?" "Why do they care about this?"

See, it isn't that TWILIGHT left me on the outside because I'm not a member of its target demographic. TWILIGHT left me on the outside because it assumed I've read the book. Since I haven't, I couldn't understand why the heroine seemed so bummed out: she had a father who loved her, lived in a cool house, and made friends easily. Further, I couldn't understand what she saw in the mousse-haired vampire with whom she's paired in biology class. Werewolf Guy seemed cool, and he could rebuild an engine. Jock Guy seemed nice enough, and he wasn't a threat to drink her blood by the pale moonlight. I mean, really, why would any woman want to be with a man who spends more time on his hair than she does?

There are many more questions that TWILIGHT fails to answer. For example: why are its vampires dressed so fashionably? I've only been around for 40 years, and I've already lost interest in fashion: give me khakis and an oxford on the East Coast, jeans and a T on the West, and I'm good to go. After a century, you'd think that TWILIGHT's undead would have roughly the same fashion sense as the far more entertaining vampires of NETHERBEAST INCORPORATED. At the very least, they could get jobs, a la NETHERBEAST. I mean, really, I know that vampires are damned, but an eternity of high school biology seems like cruel and unusual punishment even for the eternally forsaken.

But, hey, if thinly veiled parables about the excruciation of celibacy are your bag, or if you happen to own stock in a grooming products company, you might enjoy TWILIGHT. Two out of three of the adults in my room did.