Saturday, January 01, 2011

The Worst Movies of 2010

Hollywood gave us a lot of great movies this year: so many, that my usual Top Ten will overflow into some Honorable Mentions! 

There's no good without the bad, however.  Thus, I regret to bring you the Worst of 2010.  May God have mercy on our souls.

THE 4TH WORST MOVIE OF THE YEAR:  Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.  In Money Never Sleeps, Oliver Stone resurrects the spirit of Wall Street, punches it in the nose, and hits on its girlfriend.  Not only does he make a lousy movie about Hero Gekko, he tarnishes the memory of his earlier masterpiece.  After this, I’m done with Oliver Stone.

THE 3RD WORST MOVIE OF THE YEAR:  MacGruber.  MacGruber is painfully, embarrassingly unfunny.  I felt bad for everyone involved in this picture, including the kid who sold me popcorn.  This film will put a bullet in the head of the career of what’s his name as surely as The Ladies’ Man killed Tim Meadows.

THE 2ND WORST MOVIE OF THE YEAR:  The Expendables.  Look, I enjoyed Rambo and flat-out loved Rocky Balboa, but the only thing that could have made this movie sadder would’ve been watch to these guys actually sit around and shoot their steroids.  I don’t ask for much from my action films, but I do demand two simple things:  people to root for and information to comprehend whom they’re killing and why.

THE WORST MOVIE OF THE YEAR:  Dinner for Schmucks.  The only reason I didn’t walk out of this mean, hateful, hypocritical, and unfunny comedy is because I saw it in the middle of the desert while on duty with the Navy and hey, what else was I gonna do?  It was free, but I don’t care: I still want my money back.

Coming up:  Honorable Mentions for the Best Movies of 2010.

1 comment:

Flu-Bird said...

Rate OLIVER STONE up there with ED WOOD Jr. RAY DENNIS STECKLER,BURT I.GORDON,DINO DeLARLINTUS,MICHEAL MOORE and some of hollywoods all time worst directors