Battlestar Galactica: Razor

Ok, this didn't get a theatrical release, and it didn't go right straight to video, but I hope you don't mind if I geek out over a made for TV movie.

I had low hopes for BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: RAZOR. the movie tells the story of the Pegasus, a starship whose fate I, as a regular "Batlestar Galactica" viewer, already know. How interesting is it, really, to learn about how a terrible commanding officer became a terrible commanding officer? How a ship went wrong?

Not very, sad to say. Early in RAZOR, the commanding officer of Pegasus shoots her XO right there on the bridge, thus committing the tyrant's mistake: when you strike fear into your advisors, you will get no good advice. And without good advice, you can't make good decisions. And then things go to hell. And that's it, really. There's plenty more story, lots of nuggets for fans of the program, and some nifty space battles, but it simply isn't fun to watch the character arc of someone who makes such remarkably poor decisions. And our window into the story, the young officer who's intimidated, then awed, by said CO, well, she isn't very interesting, either. Her emotional range seems to go from sullen to angry to sullen, and it's hard to grow attached to her.

Hopefully, the next Battlestar Galactica movie will be two hours of Admiral Adam and President Rosslyn chatting over coffee. Frankly, I'd find that more interesting.

Monsters, Inc.

I have kids, so I've seen MONSTERS, INC. enough times now that I know its every beat. I've looked in every corner of every frame to spot all the little details. There just doesn't seem to be anything new there for me any more - I'm practically a MONSTERS, INC. -ologist.

And you know what I've learned? I've learned that MONSTERS, INC. is a well-crafted, beautifully realized, heartfelt, and funny movie. It does everything right, from the jaunty opening number that tells its juvenile audience not to get too scared by the opening scene to the absolutely perfect, absolutely heartbreaking closing shot to the fun outtakes that run with the closing credits. From the perfectly realized monsters that manage to stay just on the funny side of scary to the terrific voiceover work by Goodman, Crystal, Coburn, Buscemi, and the rest of the cast, the movie just plain nails it.

Bring on the next 25 viewings.

Vampyr

Carl Theodore Dreyer's VAMPYR is a moody, creepy horror film that seeks to unsettle and disturb us. It succeeds, and it does so through a combination of compelling story and wonderfully creepy atmosphere.

The story is the stuff of great horror. An inquisitive young man takes a room in a creepy European village. Late at night, someone enters his room and leaves a box with a note that reads, "To be opened in the event of my death." That box gets opened pretty darn quickly, and we're off to a different kind of vampire story. Why different? Well, Dreyer's idea of a vampire is neither ratlike creature nor hunka hunka burnin love. Rather, he gives us something more mysterious, perhaps more creepy, than we're used to in a vampire film. And he does it while using all the cinematic tricks available to him to create a pervasive sense of unease. VAMPYR is the kind of movie that sneaks up on you, and it's a delicious feeling. I'd gladly see it again.

Benji

BENJI (1974) is the mashed potatoes of movies. It's warm and comforting and nice and does all the things you expect it to do.

Here's the deal: Benji's the town stray, and he has a good little deal working for himself. He lives in a creepy old house that the locals think is haunted, so no one bothers him. He scores his chow from some local kids who've taken him to heart, as well as at least one local restaurateur who can always find a few scraps. He has friends throughout the town, and the film enjoys taking its time as it follows the loveable pooch on his rounds. Heck, he even goes on a date. How cute is that?

But it wouldn't be a movie without drama. Soon enough, the kids are in danger and Benji has a problem Lassie never had to handle. Who's going to listen to a stray? It's a good problem, and it's resolved well, and BENJI wraps everything up with a great big comforting bow. BENJI is a wonderful movie.

Hot Rod

HOT ROD is horrible, terrible movie. Even by the low, low standards of in-flight movies, this picture has the opposite of its intended effect: it makes time drag. When Isla Fisher and Will Arnett are in your movie and you don't know how to make (or let) them be funny, you have failed.

Here's the pitch: Rod is a pathetic loser who wants to (a) be a stuntman, (b) earn the love and respect of his stepfather, and (c) land the girl next door, but without too much sloppy kissing. First off, I've had it with "pathetic loser" quasi-retro-style teen comedies. Movie industry, accept that you will never, ever top SUPERBAD (I hear they've added more hops!) and move on. Second, I've had it with "comedies" that are just about people acting ridiculous, instead of people acting like people. Third, how is it possible that Fisher and Arnett have been reduced to dull, lifeless ciphers? I wouldn't have believed if I hadn't seen it. I'd have preferred not to believe it.

If you happen to be stuck on an airplane sometime in the next few weeks and this comes on, read SkyMall instead. It will be funnier.

Beowulf

The motion-capture version of BEOWULF, written by Neil Gaiman and directed by Robert Zemeckis, is a great time at the movies.

Since BEOWULF puts its technology front and center, I think it’s fair to comment on that technology. In deciding to go with motion capture animation for this film, Zemeckis made a conscious decision to trade Uncanny Valley drawbacks for the freedom of vision afforded by computer graphics. His choice pays off in riveting battle sequences, impossible camera movements and viewpoints, and the realization of a complete world. The price he paid shows in sight lines that are sometimes confusing and a certain deadness to the eyes that no computer animator has yet been able to overcome. In some cities, BEOWULF is available in IMAX 3-D, but such was not the case in Salt Lake City, where I happened to see this film. Watching it in 2-D, I noticed “payoff 3-D” shots that were more of a distraction than an entertainment. Overall, however, the presentation looked sharp and interesting.

Now, on to the movie. Neil Gaiman has long been among my favorite writers. He combines a love for and knowledge of folklore and literature with sensitivity to the human condition and remarkable storytelling talent. With BEOWULF, Gaiman wrote a screenplay whose deviations from the source text served to further the story, provide multiple viewpoints on the action, and stay true to the heroic tradition of which Beowulf is a part. It’s terrific, moving stuff that lends immediacy to both character and action sequences, not to mention serving up a few surprises.

As for the performances, they’re fine. Anthony Hopkins was bearable, for a change, and no one dropped the ball. Having said that, nothing stood out as being particularly noteworthy. It’s hard to act past those dead, dead eyes, no matter how much you try.

Taken together, the animation, story, and performances craft a two-hour film that made me lose track of time, that got my heart racing in all the right places, and that even managed to make Angelina Jolie look attractive. BEOWULF is fine entertainment, technologically marvelous, and, as I said, an all-around great time at the movies.

Now, if I only could see it in IMAX 3-D.

Ace in the Hole

Billy Wilder's ACE IN THE HOLE is so nasty that I couldn't find a way in to the movie. Watching ACE IN THE HOLE, I felt like I was stuck on a long trip with an insufferable companion. As the third act slowly hove into view, I couldn't wait for it to end.

ACE IN THE HOLE begins with Kirk Douglas, all braggadocio and desperate self-assurance, hustling for work in a smalltime Albuquerque newspaper. He lands the job and settles in to wait for the Big Story that'll get him back to the big time, where he think he belongs. The problem is, I didn't buy him as a newspaperman. I didn't buy him as the kind of guy who'd have the patience to gut it out in the minor leagues. Frankly, I didn't buy him as a human being. When I saw him, I saw only Kirk Douglas hamming it up.

But Douglas gets his break in the form of Richard Benedict, a poor sap who gets stuck in a cave-in while scavenging for Indian relics. Douglas milks the story for all its worth, and the resulting media circus is the real heart of this movie. Problem is, I didn't buy Benedict, either. He plays his character, Leo Mimosa, as too pious, too loving, too simple, too everything. It's as if the movie is part of the circus, building an image of a man who can't exist.

ACE IN THE HOLE may have much to say about human nature, the news media, and life in general. But it clangs its bell so loudly that all I wanted to do was plug my ears. I never thought I'd see a Billy Wilder movie I didn't like. ACE IN THE HOLE proves that there's a first time for everything.

The Godfather

You know you married the right woman when she says to you, "Let's stay up. I feel like watching a movie together." And she selects THE GODFATHER.
I hadn't seen THE GODFATHER since 1985, and I'd remembered it as an interminably long slog. But then "The Sopranos" came and went, and somewhere along the line we both raced through Puzo's novel, and this time, I was ready.

And this time, THE GODFATHER bowled me over. From the Swiss-watch screenplay to the career-making (or cementing) performances to the lighting to the music, this film puts down one sure foot after another. It breathes, it gives us time to learn about its people and place, and it fully invests us in the journey of Michael, a character who falls as he rises. The look in his eyes when, during the baptism scene, he announces, "I reject Satan and all his promises," is so thoroughly heartbreaking that the entire film is worth it for that moment alone.

THE GODFATHER is one of those films that's so well known it has become akin to cultural wallpaper. What happiness it gives me that it stands in its own right as a brilliant, captivating picture. Wow, my wife has great taste. What the heck is she doing with me?

Black Book

In 1977, a Dutch filmmaker named Paul Verhoeven garnered international acclaim for SOLDIER OF ORANGE, a brilliant film about WWII's Dutch Resistance. Like Rutger Hauer, the star of SOLDIER OF ORANGE, he moved to Hollywood. And like Hauer, he started strong in American science fiction, then tailed off into near oblivion. Unlike Hauer, who has accepted an American career of supporting roles as a reliable villain, Verhoeven finally moved back to Holland and returned to the setting of his greatest triumph: WWII's Dutch Resistance. And a wise decision it turned out to be. BLACK BOOK (or ZWARTBOEK) is a gripping, moving, surprising film that stands as its director's best work in decades.

BLACK BOOK stars Carice van Houten as Rachel, the perfect woman. She's smart, courageous, quick-witted, decisive, sexy, and man, can she sing! As the film begins in 1944, she's hiding out on a farm in the occupied Netherlands - a place where the farmer forces her, as a Jew, to recite from the New Testament before allowing her a meal of gruel. When circumstances force her off the farm and into the arms of a Resistance cell in The Hague, she adapts and survives. When duty requires her to seduce a mid-grade SS officer, she adapts and, well, that's when things get tricky. The officer, played by Sebastian Koch of THE LIVES OF OTHERS, isn't such a bad guy once you get to know him. Before she knows it, and rather to the amusement of her happily amoral friend Ronnie, our heroine is -gulp- involved. (Side note, there's a moment in the film that leads us to reevaluate Ronnie and realize that she's in an equally interesting movie of her own. I'd love to see Verhoeven do an _Ender's Shadow_ type of movie about her.) Moving at breakneck pace, the movie brings us to a thrilling climax involving the rescue of Resistance prisoners, a fancy-dress, and the possible redemption of the SS officer. And then it keeps going, and it keeps getting better and better, as twist piles upon twist until we're left, breathless, as the credits roll.

I attribute much of the film's success to van Houten, who delivers an extraordinary, virtuoso performance that leaves me utterly mystified regarding her lack of a Best Actress nomination. She's in nearly every scene, and she plays the layers of deception behind her eyes with masterful skill, letting us and us alone see the real woman underneath. When she experiences emotional crises, they feel earned because she's demonstrated how strong she is, how much it takes to get to her. Combine this performance with that of the reliable and likeable Koch, and you get two hours that fairly race by.

Apparently, BLACK BOOK got a mixed critical reception. Not from me. I loved every minute of it. BLACK BOOK is a winner. Now c'mon, Rutger. Catch a flight to The Hague. There must be a few more good Dutch scripts laying around.

Wet Hot American Summer

WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER, a summer camp comedy, is a bad, bad movie. It's stupid. It's poorly acted. It's badly shot. It makes MEATBALLS look like THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS. And this is coming from a guy who worked four summers at a camp on Catalina Island, a guy who still nurtures fond memories of the time the Newport Beach High School Girl's Swim Team camped out at the next bay over.

And yet, ghastly as this film undoubtedly is, I can't quite bring myself to outright hate it. This is where the world of context comes into play. This film, released in 2001, was cowritten by and features Michael Showalter, who went on to give us THE BAXTER. Its stars include Michael Ian Black, who was also in THE BAXTER; Paul Rudd, who killed in THE BAXTER, THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN, and KNOCKED UP; Christopher Meloni, who blew everyone away with his roles in "Oz" and "Law and Order: SVU"; and (most importantly) Elizabeth Banks, who has helped to give us SPIDER-MAN, SEABISCUIT, THE BAXTER, THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN, the incomparable SLITHER, and INVINCIBLE, plus a great turn in "Scrubs." And she kisses a girl. Janeane Garofalo and David Hyde Pierce play the grownups, and they get a pass on general principle. Had I seen this movie in 2001, I'm sure I would have hated it outright. Seeing it in 2007, I see a bunch of talented people figuring out how a third act transition works, how to hit a mark, how to act onscreen. I see people who are still unsure of themselves and going for easy, parodic schtick, and I know they'll mature and go on deliver clever, character-based work.

Still, I can't recommend WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER. Not even for Paul Rudd completists or Elizabeth Banks fetishists. The movie made me laugh all of once, and that was more a dismayed bark than actual amusement. Just move right along to THE BAXTER, where the training wheels come off. You'll be glad you did.

The Corporation

THE CORPORATION is, indeed, a film by true believers for true believers. The problem is, I'm not entirely sure what these true believers believe in.

THE CORPORATION asks the question, "If a corporation is a legal person, what kind of person would it be?" The answer: "A psychopath." And, y'know, that's fine. State your thesis, make your argument, and have at you. But the movie's all over the place. One moment it's on about corporations in particular, then capitalism in general, then American consumer culture, then environmentalism, et cetera ad infitum. For authorities, the film gives us people like Michael Moore and Noam Chomsky, which sends a very clear message to the observer: if you don't trust these guys, this film isn't even trying to talk to you.

As a film, THE CORPORATION is basically a power point presentation with moving slides. The problem is, these visuals add nothing to the presentation, instead merely giving us something to look at while people read to us. If the purpose of this documentary is to inform or persuade, it succeeds only in boring the skeptical audience and leaving that audiencee unmoved. While watching THE CORPORATION, I felt like turning it off and just finding the bulletized summary somewhere on the Internet. It would have served the same purpose and saved me some time (But hey, I saw it on the Metro, and it's not like I had anything else to do.).

Had I done so, however, I'm still not sure I would have reaped a clear picture of where THE CORPORATION is coming from. What does it want? A global economy run by the same people who run the DMV? A transition to the pastoral existence of urban fantasy? Just to hit all the right talking points so maybe it can score with that cute hippie chick?

I don't know and, frankly, I don't care. THE CORPORATION fails as an invective, it fails as an entertainment, it fails as a film. This one is for punch-drinkers only.

The Italian Job

Oh, how I love 2003's THE ITALIAN JOB.

This is a movie that looks great, that sounds great, that's packed with charismatic and interesting stars, and that is both complex enough to reward careful viewing and broad enough to play in the background at a get-together. It's not the greatest heist movie ever (That's RIFIFI. If you haven't seen it, your life has no meaning.), but it does everything it needs to do, and it does it with style.

THE ITALIAN JOB begins with a job in, well, Italy. Venice (top city on my 'to visit' list), to be precise, and the job is a clockwork masterpiece of timing, guts, and skill. From there, we're on to a world of doublecrosses, revenge, Charlize Theron looking impossibly beautiful, fun dialogue, neat car chases, exciting practical stunts, and did I mention Charlize Theron looking impossibly beautiful?

The last time I saw this movie, it played in the background during an impromptu get-together. It was easy to settle into during lulls in the conversation, and it had lots of pretty pictures to display when the talk picked back up again. What a fun movie.

Ice Age: The Meltdown

Will you enjoy ICE AGE: THE MELTDOWN? Only if you enjoyed ICE AGE. This sequel brings nothing new to the table.

That's ok, really. ICE AGE was a pleasant enough way to spend an hour and a half, and THE MELTDOWN is, as well. It gives us the same characters, led by the likeable Ray Romano. It gives us another story of a journey, and it gives us another lesson about loyalty and family. Like I said, not a bad way to spend a little time, and lifted by the extraordinary animation done by 20th Century Fox.

I'm sorry, that's all I've got. This movie is already fading in memory.

The Passion of Joan of Arc

Carl Theodore Dreyer's THE PASSION OF JOAN OF ARC (1928) is a compelling, thought-provoking, and aesthetically rewarding film.

THE PASSION OF JOAN OF ARC is a passion play that draws clear parallels between Joan and Jesus. Like Jesus, Joan is hauled before a politically loaded court, asked questions designed to trip her, and ultimately meets her fate. In this telling, drawn from court documents, Joan may be insane, she may be enlightened (to use a term from another religious tradition), or she may simply be a scared kid who's in way over her head. Maybe she's all three. Maria Falconetti, in her only film role, plays Joan almost as a blank slate, allowing us to project our interpretations of her predicament and her reactions to it onto her sometimes impassive, sometimes ecstatic, sometimes terrified face.

While the film wraps us in fascination, it prods us to thought. How different were Joan's ecclesiastical courts from Christ's? Why the fascination with styles of dress and the religious implications of gender-normed clothing? To what extent did Joan's ecclesiastical judges belive in what they were doing, and to what extent were they either saving their own necks or expanding their power with the dominant political forces of the day?

These considerations alone would make for a commendable film, but Dreyer compounds and magnifies them with his choices in the creation of the film's look and feel. The architecture of the fortress in which the action proceeds is unsettling and off kilter in a way that alludes to German expressionism without becoming overwhelmed by it. His harsh, unforgiven lighting and camera work lends the production a documentary feel that adds to its immediacy. And his direction of the actors themselves feels spot on. These felt like real people undergoing real tests, not early film actors hamming it up.

Criterion, as usual, does commendable work with this film. I love that a company can build a business model around the public good, and Criterion consistently does that by restoring and presenting the very finest of cinema. THE PASSION OF JOAN OF ARC is as crisp as we could want, and it's a pleasure to view.

I loved this movie.

Ocean's 13

OCEAN’S 13 is like bubblegum. It’s unpretentious, it’s essentially kid stuff, and it’s fun. What more do you need?

Here’s the setup: George Clooney and his gang go after yet another Vegas Casino. How these guys’ faces aren’t on every wanted poster in the city is beyond me, but there you have it. And really, that’s all you need to know. Their motivation is irrelevant.

What really matters here is the film’s style, and OCEAN’S 13 has style to spare. The locations are fabulous, the wardrobe is fabulous, and the dialogue is just plain fun. C’mon – it even has Eddie Izzard in a small yet crucial role. And if Eddie Izzard isn’t enough to get you queue up a movie, well, why do you even bother?

Ellen Barkin and Al Pacino both model the latest in age-defying technologies, everyone appears to be having a good time, the heist is sufficiently intricate, and I enjoyed the heck out of OCEAN’S 13. What more could a guy ask for?

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Y’know what I liked about the FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER? Its sense of fun. This film takes plenty of time for gags, and this lightness works toward creating a pleasant, rather innocuous entry in the series.

The Silver Surfer, who actually looks more like a mercury surfer, is an extraterrestrial being who, um, surfs around the galaxy preparing life-bearing planets for consumption at the hands of another, larger extraterrestrial being. When he shows up on Earth, its up to the Fantastic Four, with a combination of help and interference from old nemeses Victor von Doom and some U.S. Army general with Canadian jump wings and jurisdiction in London and Siberia. (Aside: Andre Braugher plays the general. Whenever I see him, I recall the top-notch Iago he played in a production of Othello opposite Avery Brooks. Suffice it to say that Iago is a more interesting character than the stock “military guy as imagined by people who’ve never been in the military” he’s stuck with here.)

That’s a fine setup for a superhero movie, but what makes F2S2 a pleasant time at the movies is the interaction between the members of the Fantastic Four. These people care about one another, and I enjoyed their interactions as they tried to both save the world and lift one another up.

Is F2S2 a particularly good movie? Not really, and I’d skip right by it if I ran across it on a hotel TV. But it’s fine and, if your kids want to watch it, it won’t kill you to sit down and watch it with them. Tepid praise, but praise nonetheless.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX is true to its source material. OTP is the dourest, least entertaining of the novels up to that point, and the film is no different. It’s dour because not only does Harry feel angry and isolated, but this film takes all the wonder out of Harry’s magical world, leaving us to contemplate accepting previously unimaginable magical occurrences as everyday events. Of course, this is happening to Harry as he grows into manhood, but it’s still a bit sad to see.

This is usually the part where I recount the movie’s hook, but why bother? It’s Harry against yet another Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor, with Voldy pulling the strings. There’s some stuff about teamwork and the importance of friendship, but this film feels most like a trudge through required setup material for the last act of the series. It quickly checks in with the major characters, not giving us enough of any of them to make them worth our while. The final battle feels devoid of resonance, and I just couldn’t bring myself to care.

By far, HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX is the least satisfying movie of the series. Let’s hope things improve with the next outing.

Fun side note

The Blogger software has suddenly decided that I can read Kanjji. It's a good thing I've been doing this for a while, because all the back-end stuff is now in Japanese, and I can go only by a vague memory of which colored buttons do what.

As You Like It

I was all set to fall in love with Kenneth Branagh’s direct-to-video AS YOU LIKE IT, set in a trading colony in Meiji Japan. I’ve been a fan of Branagh’s work since I saw HENRY V in college, and I’ve had a thing for Japanese culture since I read James Clavell’s _Shogun_ in the 7th grade. Thus, when I fired up this version of AS YOU LIKE IT while staying in a hotel outside of Yokohama (coincidentally, the site of the Meiji trading colony), it seemed like the perfect combination of material and viewer.

Alas, not even Brian Blessed, Alfred Molina, and Kevin Kline could save this slow, plodding, and unsatisfying film. The film’s Anglo-Japanese setting doesn’t really work, its pacing could have used some help in the editing room, and I had a sense of the film’s self awareness that this was, indeed, Shakespeareit was giving us. As written, AS YOU LIKE IT is great fun, but this production seems to miss the point.

I’m not sure what’s happening with Branagh. His star shined so brightly, but it has been guttering these last several years. Where’s the confident, exciting filmmaker of HENRY V, DEAD AGAIN, and MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING? I haven’t seen his remake of SLEUTH yet, but Time magazine’s impression does not look promising. What did he lose along the way?

Well, whatever he lost, he didn’t find it while making this latest AS YOU LIKE IT. Move along. There’s nothing to see here.

Death Proof

Kurt Russell, often the best thing about whichever movie he’s in, is easily the best thing about DEATH PROOF, Quentin Tarantino’s half of the GRINDHOUSE experiment. As the homicidal Stuntman Mike, he’s as charming, creepy, scary, pathetic, and just plain fun a villain as you could ask for. And he’s giving us this role in a film that defies narrative convention, dazzles with great practical stunts, and makes for a great time at the movies.

Here’s the deal: Stuntman Mike’s into vehicular homicide, using his superlative driving and technical skills to kill his female victims. When he targets a vehicle carrying stuntwomen, however, things don’t go his way.

And that’s pretty much it. The rest is a fun and creative misdirection gambit and an extraordinary sequence of stunts in, on, around, and with cars. It’s exciting, vibrant work, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Bring on more evil Kurt Russell!