The Secret Life of Bees

THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES is one of those movies that doesn't feel like a movie. It feels like an adaptation of a play or a book or a limerick, not something that stands on its own with its own, vibrant life.

Don't get me wrong: this movie has a lot going for it. Though it stars Dakota Fanning, the only human resident of the Uncanny Valley, it also features fine turns from the wonderful Queen Latifah, the brilliant Sophie Okonedo, the remarkably talented Jennifer Hudson, and "Wire" vet Tristan Wilds. The normally likeable Paul Bettany clearly enjoys himself as the violent, trashy peach farmer who can barely take care of himself, much less raise a daughter, and the whole film drips with the kind of love and compassion that one normally finds only in young adult fiction.

But it creaks. We hear the gears grind and clash. We can't lose ourselves in the moment because we never sense that the moment is cinematically authentic. Rather, it feels like a retelling of a telling, one given with love but without spark. I wanted to care about Girlbot, but I never believed she was real. I wanted to find comfort in a home clearly designed for it, but I couldn't lose myself. I wanted to root for the bright young people who'd have to work hard to overcome a world that could be capricious and cruel, but I never once doubted that they would succeed.
I'm sure there are people who love THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES. It was, after all, made for loving. I'd like to be one them, but I can't fall in love with a xerox.

Hairspray

I sat down in front of HAIRSPRAY with my arms crossed. I was not in the mood for a musical. Two hours later, HAIRSPRAY had me tapping my foot and put a big smile on my face.

HAIRSPRAY is an energetic, colorful, lively, and fun musical that overcomes its jarring elements and delivers a first-rate entertainment experience.

So, let's talk about the jarring elements. First, there's John Travolta. Yeah, the guy's a hell of a dancer (if you can dance in a fat suit and sell it, then buddy, you can dance). But his Baltimore accent was horrible and I never once believed he was anyone other than John Travolta dragged up in a fat suit. Second, there's Christopher Walken. Frankly, I'm tired of Walken's playing against type in comic roles. Creep me out again, Chris! Third, there's the aggressive cheerfulness of the production itself. It's like one of those kids shows that knocks itself out trying to convince its audience how much gosh-darn fun its having.

But enough of that. James Marsden cements his position as one of the most fun to watch young actors working today. Michelle Pfieffer, in her second "wicked witch" role in recent memory has always been one of the most fun to watch actresses in the business. Nikki Blonsky is delightful as the lead, and the whole thing rocks along with a wink and a smile and has so much gosh-darn fun that you can't help but wink and smile along.

What a pleasant surprise.

Last Holiday

“Last Holiday” asks the question, “Is Queen Latifah sufficiently charismatic to carry a paper-thin story whose every beat will be familiar to all but the youngest children?" Fortunately, the answer is yes.

In “Last Holiday,” Her Grace plays a department store cookware demonstrator who learns that she has an inoperable brain condition. She quits her job, sells her investments, walks away from the man who doesn’t even know she loves him (L.L. Cool J, making me wish I had a more bitchin’ name), and heads to an exclusive ski resort high in the Alps. There, she plans to live her life to the fullest up to the very last moment. This is a comedy, so now you know exactly what will happen. Fortunately, Her Majesty is a charming woman with whom it’s a pleasure to spend 90 minutes. As one nice thing after another happens to her, you can't help but smile along, enjoying the general sense of goodwill the film creates.

Her Majesty gets first-class supporting work from a cast including Timothy Hutton, Gerard Depardieu, Giancarlo Esposito, Michael Nouri, Alicia Witt, and the aforementioned Mr. J. Timothy Hutton, as the villainous owner of the department store chain (who just happens to show up at the resort), is note perfect. He’s despicable but not too despicable, evil but not too evil, and he's clearly having as much fun as anyone in the audience.

And this movie is very fun. If you'd like to spice it up, try watching it with a child who will worry about the star's fate, then watch his or her reaction when the inevitable happens. It's a treat, and it's the kind of experience that adds to the warm, comfort-food experience that is "Last Holiday."

Ice Age: The Meltdown

Will you enjoy ICE AGE: THE MELTDOWN? Only if you enjoyed ICE AGE. This sequel brings nothing new to the table.

That's ok, really. ICE AGE was a pleasant enough way to spend an hour and a half, and THE MELTDOWN is, as well. It gives us the same characters, led by the likeable Ray Romano. It gives us another story of a journey, and it gives us another lesson about loyalty and family. Like I said, not a bad way to spend a little time, and lifted by the extraordinary animation done by 20th Century Fox.

I'm sorry, that's all I've got. This movie is already fading in memory.