American Reunion

American Reunion is awkward and unfunny, just like an actual high school reunion. It's a comedy that didn't make me crack a smile. It's a relationship picture in which not one single relationship feels authentic. It's a mess in which characters show up for the sole purpose of cashing a check and getting the heck out. And it's a considerable waste of the talents of Seann William Scott, who really won me over with Goon.

Here's the setup: it's 13 years since the events of the excellent American Pie. As one might expect with a successful ensemble piece, some of the players' careers have advanced and some haven't. So it is with the characters they play as the characters descend upon their home town, get themselves into awkward situations, and resolve a variety of relationship issues.

But it all feels forced and unfunny. Characters who aren't central to the narrative show up merely for the audience to say, "Hey, I remember that guy!" Rather than inspire guffaws, awkward situations only make us wish we were somewhere else. The story comes from its outline, as opposed to flowing organically. Something about the whole production reeks of desperation.

I felt icky and sad while watching American Reunion, much the same way I imagine I'd feel if I had to watch actual thirty-somethings recreate their high school years. Pass on this film. Forget it ever existed. Hopefully, they won't try to make another.

Goon

Goon is a funny, violent, vulgar, sweet, formulaic, and endearing film about a guy who finds his calling in punching other people in the mouth.

Seann William Scott plays Doug Glatt, not the sharpest arrow in the family quiver.  Dad's a doctor, Brother's a doctor, and Mother is disappointed in him.  He's athletic, he knows how to throw a punch, and he works as a bouncer.  It's honest work, sure, but nothing to brag about down at the synagogue.  Glatt is a fundamentally nice and decent guy, and there's no fulfillment in strong arming weaklings.

Everything changes when he attends a minor-league hockey game with his best friend (Jay Baruchel, the voice of Hiccup in the surprisingly good How to Train Your Dragon.  He wrote and directed this movie.) and finds himself standing up for his buddy when a heckled player climbs into the stands to throw a few punches.   Glatt knocks the guy out, attracts the attention of the home team's coach, and he's on his way.  Finally, he has the chance to be part of something, to work in an organization that values his talents, and to beat up worthy opponents.

From there, the film follows the structure of your basic sports story, complete with an on-ice showdown with the league’s reigning master enforcer (Liev Schreiber, proving yet again that a great actor in a small role can raise the game of an entire film.).  But that’s just the structure.  The joy in this film comes from the wickedly funny writing, the spot on delivery, and the real affection it shares for the damaged people of and around minor-league hockey.

I laughed all the way through Goon, and I was delighted to learn that there’s an actual Doug Glatt out there, busting heads as an officer with his local police department and, hopefully, banking his royalties from this film.  Goon was released to little fanfare, but it’s a winner.  Queue it up.

Role Models

ROLE MODELS is your standard comedy about man-children who learn an important Life Lesson and find their way to actual adulthood. You’ve seen its every beat before and it has nothing new to offer in the way of conception, scoring, technical wizardry, or artistry.

It’s also funny. Very funny. Laugh – out – loud funny. Paul “why is this guy not a huge star” Rudd and Seann William Scott are a great comic duo, playing off one another with the perfect combination of affection and exasperation. Elizabeth Banks turns a thankless “love interest” part into gold, and Jane Lynch is just one or two more parts this great away from joining Cloris Leachman in the Hall of Great Comic Actresses (I don’t know why Jane Lynch reminds me of Cloris Leachman. She just does. It’s a compliment.). This is a movie that goes from broad, physical bits to Marvin Hamlisch jokes and back again with flawless delivery and perfect timing.

Yes, it should be crap. You know it. I know it. The guys who wrote it know it. But they took a crap outline, fleshed it out with great jokes, put it in the hands of first-rate comic actors, and turned it into a freakin’ masterpiece.

Who’d’a thunk it.

PS I used to run down the ravine behind the University of San Diego. At the bottom of the ravine, there’s a park. On Saturdays, that park would be filled with people dressed like hot dog vendors at the Renaissance Fair, merrily whacking one another with foam rubber swords. Just so you know, there are folks out there who really do see that as a fun way to spend their Saturday.

Ice Age: The Meltdown

Will you enjoy ICE AGE: THE MELTDOWN? Only if you enjoyed ICE AGE. This sequel brings nothing new to the table.

That's ok, really. ICE AGE was a pleasant enough way to spend an hour and a half, and THE MELTDOWN is, as well. It gives us the same characters, led by the likeable Ray Romano. It gives us another story of a journey, and it gives us another lesson about loyalty and family. Like I said, not a bad way to spend a little time, and lifted by the extraordinary animation done by 20th Century Fox.

I'm sorry, that's all I've got. This movie is already fading in memory.