American Reunion

American Reunion is awkward and unfunny, just like an actual high school reunion. It's a comedy that didn't make me crack a smile. It's a relationship picture in which not one single relationship feels authentic. It's a mess in which characters show up for the sole purpose of cashing a check and getting the heck out. And it's a considerable waste of the talents of Seann William Scott, who really won me over with Goon.

Here's the setup: it's 13 years since the events of the excellent American Pie. As one might expect with a successful ensemble piece, some of the players' careers have advanced and some haven't. So it is with the characters they play as the characters descend upon their home town, get themselves into awkward situations, and resolve a variety of relationship issues.

But it all feels forced and unfunny. Characters who aren't central to the narrative show up merely for the audience to say, "Hey, I remember that guy!" Rather than inspire guffaws, awkward situations only make us wish we were somewhere else. The story comes from its outline, as opposed to flowing organically. Something about the whole production reeks of desperation.

I felt icky and sad while watching American Reunion, much the same way I imagine I'd feel if I had to watch actual thirty-somethings recreate their high school years. Pass on this film. Forget it ever existed. Hopefully, they won't try to make another.

My Best Friend's Girl

MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL is an affront to God and man. It's a romantic comedy that is neither romantic nor funny.*

It's _Cyrano de Bergerac_ with Dane Cook as Christian, Jason Biggs as Cyrano, and Kate Hudson as Roxane. At least, that appears to be the structure that the film rips off. It deviates from the straight Cyrano story, which is fine, but it fails to give us any reason to care whether any of its annoying, shallow characters live or die, much less find love.

This film's cinematography is boring, its dialogue is boring, its story is boring, and its actors are boring.* I saw this movie for free (It was playing in the background in the place where I'm using the computer), and I still want my money back.

MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL can take a hike.

*Except when Alex Baldwin is onscreen. When did this guy turn into a comic genius?

Eight Below

I went into EIGHT BELOW with low expectations. It was a Heroic Dog movie, after all, and those generally run from kitschy to depressing. Additionally, I thought that Bruce Greenwood played a villain. I like Bruce Greenwood; I didn’t want to see him play a villain.

What a pleasant surprise. While EIGHT BELOW begins slowly, it quickly picks up steam and keeps us involved in the adventure right through to the end. Here’s the short version: scientists must leave a team of sled dogs behind when they evacuate their Antarctic research station in the face of a coming storm. The movie, which is loosely based on a true story, chronicles the team’s struggle to survive and their human master’s struggle to mount an expedition to save them.

Paul Walker plays the master, and he builds on his fine work in RUNNING SCARED to deliver a character whom we accept as an Antarctic dogsledder and audience surrogate in our concern for the dogs. The dogs are heroic, of course, and though they do engage in behavior that runs counter to my understanding of sled-dog dynamics (As a former malamute owner, I have a passing interest in the subject.), they manage to hold our sympathy and win our respect.

Frank Marshall made EIGHT BELOW in Canada, but the film looks like he shot it in Antarctica. It’s stark, forbidding, and beautiful, and I can’t wait to see this thing in high definition.

Ultimately, I liked everything about EIGHT BELOW. And Bruce Greenwood doesn’t play a villain, after all.