Letter From An Unknown Woman

Some time ago, I read a glowing review of LETTER FROM AN UNKNOWN WOMAN, starring Joan Fontaine, and Netflixed it right away. I then forgot all about it and, when LETTER FROM AN UNKOWN WOMAN arrived in my mailbox, I was mildly perplexed. "I thought this was Joan Fontaine movie," I, er, thought. "I must be mixed up. I'm sure I'll like this Chinese movie just fine."

I'm here to tell you that I did not like the 2004 Chinese remake of LETTER FROM AN UNKNOWN WOMAN. While director and lead actress Xu Jinglei sells her character's aging and emotional development, she fails to capture the imagination or the heart with her maudlin, ponderous retelling of the story.

LETTER FROM AN UNKNOWN WOMAN opens with a rich guy reading his mail. One of the letters begins, "Now that my son is dead, I can tell you the truth: that I've always loved you. If you're reading this, I'm dead, too, so fear not: I ask nothing of you, for the dead have no needs." The movie lost me right there, as I rolled my eyes at the kind of "doomed romantic" bs that even the most callow of schoolgirls would find ridiculous. The movie takes us through the author of that letter's life as, yes, a callow schoolgirl, a slightly older callow schoolgirl, and, well, some other things, too. As I said, I bought the character's life transitions, but I couldn't get past the sickly-sweet nature of the story, the celebration of the ultimate in passive aggressiveness: bringing the guilt from beyond the grave.

Reviewer, now that the movie is over, I can tell you the truth: that I spent an hour and a half wondering what got into you. If you're reading this, fear not: there must be DVD of the other, better LETTER FROM AN UNKOWN WOMAN out there. After I wash the taste of this one out of my mouth, I just might give it a try.

Evan Almighty

Oh, how I loathed EVAN ALMIGHTY. Here's a movie that takes the most banal platitudes:
((1) Dad needs to make more time for the kids.
(2) McMansions are bad.
(3) SUVs, and particularly Hummers, are bad.
(4) Development is bad. (5) Realtors are bad (ok, that was a new one).
(6) Animals are good.
(7) That "random acts of kindness" meme is the height of Divine truth.
(7) Wanda Sykes is funny.),

combines them with stunning ignorance:
((1) Small-time TV news co-anchors and congressmen can afford giant houses and fabulous cars.
(2) House committee chairmen are just slightly less powerful than the President.
(3) Congressional chiefs of staff and legislative aids are basically the same thing.
(4) A committee chairman can fire a congressman.
(5) The Blue Ridge Mountains are short commute to DC.
(6) God is a moron.
(7) Anyone would choose to live in Buffalo instead of anywhere else in the world, including Port au Prince.),

and creates a lazy, preachy, treacly, unfunny mess of a film that amused my 7-yr-old, but made my wife and me want to stick forks in our eyes.

EVAN ALMIGHTY's jokes are lame. Its characterizations are lame. Its politics are lame. Its religion is lame. Its dialogue, its CGI, its direction, its music, its buildup, its climax, its ending, even its closing credits are lame (Ok, its ending and closing credits are more desperate than lame, but still...). Morgan Freeman makes for an agreeable King of Kings and Steve Carrell makes for an agreeable prophet, but that's about all this movie has to offer. Avoid, avoid, avoid this movie. It's not worth seeing.

Brief Hiatus

To my regular reader (Hi, Mom!):

I'm totally clobbered right now, so I don't even have time to watch movies on the Metro in to work. I expect things to loosen up in a few weeks, and then we'll be right back at it. 'Til then, browse the archives - you might see something you like!

Happy holidays,
FC

Cars

CARS isn't wildly funny or illuminating or anything else. It just sorta rocks along pleasantly for an hour and a half, content to be content in the journey.

Here's the setup: Lightning McQueen is *this close* to winning the coveted Piston Cup and making all his dreams come true. He's just gotta get to LA in time for the race and the meeting with the big sponsor and the fame and the fans and so on and so forth. But then he gets sidetracked, DOC HOLLYWOOD style, in a litte town on Route 66. Surprisingly, he learns some life lessons about community and selflessness, and he finds out that maybe what he wanted isn't what he wanted, at all. It's a fine chassis for a kids' story, and it works as advertised, with some particularly clever touches in the realization of an all-autos world. This is a Pixar production, so it looks fabulous and has all the marks of a precision machine. It hits its marks and, while not a masterpiece, it answers the mail.

What's more interesting is the trend to focus on the importance of sportsmanship and fair play in kids' movies that I've been noticing. It's a delightful change from the "2nd place is first loser" mentality that I see permeating much of popular culture and a message that's worth getting out there. There's nothing trite about class, and it's good to see that reinforced in popular entertainment.

Surf's Up

SURF'S UP is the funniest movie I've seen since SUPERBAD.

Here's the setup: Cody Maverick (Great name!) is an Antarctic penguin who has just plain gotta surf. Will he win the big surf-off? Will he win the respect of the Big Kahuna? Will he win the heart of the cute lifeguard girl? Ok, sounds pretty standard so far - I get it. But have no fear. SURF'S UP is done in a witty, surfer-doc style that feels like half Warren Miller and half Bruce Brown, and it succeeds in being both visually exciting (actually, no small feat for a CGI movie about surfing penguins) and laugh-out-loud funny. Shia LaBeouf voices Cody, The Once and Future Dude voices the Big Kahuna, the unbearably cute Zooey Deschanel plays the lifeguard, and even Jon Heder manages to entertain as the stoner chicken buddy who'll pass as merely goofy in front of the youngsters at whom this film is ostensibly targeted. Yes, that's right: I just wrote the words "stoner chicken buddy." Roll with it.

The gags come at just the right pace, with different aspects of the same bit targeted for different ages. One more than one occasion, this film had my whole family laughing at the same time, but for different reasons. The story clips right along, the thing looks great, and I suspect there's more to find on subsequent viewings, of which I predict there will be many.

Though SURF'S UP does have a downside in that it made me seriously question my decision to move away from San Diego and its perfect slow rollers, I recommend this film without reservation. Who'd have thought I'd love an animated movie about surfing penguins? But there it is.

Vitus

Thanks, Roger Ebert!

I'd never have heard of VITUS if Ebert hadn't reviewed it. It didn't pop on CHUD, which is where I go for movie news, and it didn't pop here, which is where I go for movie conversation. If Ebert hadn't given it a few hundred words, it would have disappeared.

But he did give it a couple of hundred words, and he had me sold at "Bruno Ganz," and I'm glad I sat down for it. VITUS is a Swiss film about a kid named Vitus who is so incredibly brilliant that his parents can't even comprehend how brilliant he is. I thought it was going to be a piano-oriented rehash of SEARCHING FOR BOBBY FISCHER but, when the film went on to show my that I couldn't comprehend how brilliant this kid is, it took me in a new direction, one I thoroughly enjoyed.

The light in this kid's life is his grandfather, played by the incredible Bruno Ganz. Ganz is one of those everyman-type actors whose comforting onscreen presence belies a sharpness that gives him the ability to act in films in a variety of languages. So far, I've seen him do German (in multiple dialects), Italian, and Greek, all while sounding like a native speaker. Here, he assays Swiss German, and it's extraordinary. As the kindly grandfather and font of vitally important folk wisdom, he gives Vitus the two things he needs: unconditional love and the chance to act like a kid, or act like a grownup, or act however he needs to act. And it's wonderful.

The conflict, well, it's not a "kid against the world" kind of thing so much as it is a story about "kid finding his way in the world." It's sweet, but not overly so, and it holds some pleasant surprises. I liked VITUS enough to re-screen it for my wife. I think she's going to like it, too. I had her sold at "Bruno Ganz."

Meet The Robinsons

MEET THE ROBINSONS is your standard kids' fare, hot off the assembly line. It has bright and adorable orphans, a fun villain right out of "Dudley Do-Right," and a moral that we can't help but get behind, even if we may object to being bludgeoned with it so mercilessly.

Here's the setup: Orphan Boy is a super genius who turns off every potential set of adoptive parents at the fantasy orphanage in which he lives. One day, Marty McFly -er, some kid- shows up, gets involved in his life, and puts him on track to happiness. And that's it, really. Beyond that, all I can say is, hey, it entertained my 7-yr-old while teaching a mantra "Keep moving forward" that's a great thing for people to carry around. It was bright, it was shiny, and it did what it was supposed to do. Yeah, it was no RATATOUILLE, but not everything can be. I'll take it.

Paris, je t'aime

PARIS, JE T'AIME isn't a film so much as it is a mini film festival. Imagine, if you will, two hours worth of five-minute short films set in Paris, directed by a veritable Who's Who of directors and performed by a veritable Who's Who of French, English, and American actors. These films share a love of Paris, a love so thorough that it may freeze out those who have never been to nor dreamt of the city.

Fortunately for me, my wife and I took a marvelous vacation to Paris some years back and, yes, we fell in love with it. So I was in. But how was the festival? Well, like all festivals, this one offered some memorable and some forgettable films, and it's a good idea to take breaks between blocks of viewing. That said, there's one short with Elijah Wood and Olga Kurylenko that's hypnotic, audacious and absolutely memorable. In fact, it's so good that it makes the disc worth renting on its strength alone.

So, there it is. If you're a francophile, I think you'll surely enjoy this movie. If not, your mileage may vary.

But I liked it.

Rescue Dawn

In RESCUE DAWN, Christian Bale gives another one of those performances that reminds that he's a quality, quality actor who happens to lack that certain something that makes us connect with him on a visceral level.

In the film, Bale plays Dieter Dengler, a real-life Navy pilot who has the misfortune of getting shot down over Laos on his very first mission. His story, from capture to rescue, feels believable on both technical and personal levels. The movie gets the Navy stuff right. It gets the aviation stuff right. It gets the personal interactions between Dengler and his squadronmates, captors, and fellow captives right. It's shot magnificently. The music is excellent. Even the supporting work by Steve Zahn and Jeremy Davies is absolutely (and career-enhancingly) first class.

But there's something about Bale. I never didn't buy him as Dengler, just as I accept him in all his roles. I never particularly liked him, either. Sure, I sympathised with him. I respected him. But if he were in my squadron, he isn't one of the guys I'd go out of my way to go on detachment with (but neither would I go out of my way to prevent it). And while that didn't take away from the character or the journey of that character, it detracted from my investment in Dieter Dengler. When he finally got rescued and I was supposed to feel relieved, or happy, or something, I felt nothing at all.

I can see them screening RESCUE DAWN at Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape School. But though I respect the film, I can't say that I like it. But I'll keep watching Bale because I respect his craft and his dedication. Perhaps I'll connect with him in his next role.

Now, Voyager

From Netflix: Bridled by an autocratic mother, Charlotte Vale (Bette Davis) borders on a nervous breakdown. But when a psychiatrist (Claude Rains) persuades her to drastically change her life, she blossoms into a self-possessed woman. The newly confident Charlotte takes a voyage, where she falls in love with the unhappily married Jerry (Paul Henreid). Though their romance is doomed, Charlotte finds solace in helping Jerry's emotionally unhinged daughter.
===
That synopsis makes NOW, VOYAGER seem like a three-hanky estrogenfest that'd require at least three viewings of ALIENS to wash the smell of perfume out of your clothes.

I loved it.

To me, Bette Davis has always been the scary lady from RETURN FROM WITCH MOUNTAIN. Something about those eyes creeped me out, man, and I never went looking for her work. NOW, VOYAGER leads me to see that she was much more than a kids' movie villain and that those eyes, far from creepy, offer a range of expression that make her a pleasure to see onscreen.

The thing about this movie is that it could have been simple melodrama, but the execution makes it so much more. Claude Rains is brilliant, Paul Henreid is wonderfully conflicted, and Gladys Cooper brings a spectral spookiness to the cardboard role of the oppressive mother. And as for Bette Davis, well, she's luminous. I bought every single step of her journey. I laughed when she laughed; I cried when she cried. What a wonderful, magnificent performance she gives, anchoring the whole enterprise in believability and humanity.

NOW, VOYAGER is a big, big winner. I give it five hankies out of five.

Trouble in Paradise

TROUBLE IN PARADISE, an Ernst Lubitsch film from 1932, is ostensibly about two thieves and a mark. But it's really about class - about style, and cool, and knowing just the thing to say and just when to say it. I know this because it gives the magnificent Edward Everett Horton a brilliant role as the least cool guy in the room. When you cast Horton, you're casting the kind of class that makes real class look like the halls of Olympus.

And who walks the Olympian corridors? Herbert Marshall and Miriam Hopkins as the thieves, and Kay Francis as the mark. And they're so witty, so smooth, so self-aware, that you can't help but love them, can't help but want to be like them, feel sad that your time with them is over when the film draws to a close. They're funny, but in a knowing smile kind of way. They're thoughtful, but they know where the exits are. In short, they're wonderfully idealized aspirational figures, and following them through the grace and eye of Lubitsch, we're happy to be in their company.

Yes, there's a story. And turnabouts, and great dialogue, and all of that. But TROUBLE IN PARADISE is really about intangibles, and it delivers them with gusto. This is an enormously pleasurable film.

I'm Not Scared

What a great movie!

10-year-old Michele has a problem. There's a boy chained up in a hole in the ground out in the country, and his parents may be the kidnappers. I'M NOT SCARED has an excellent premise, but it really excels in what it does with that premise. Michele isn't an adult in a child's body, and he isn't superhuman. He's a normal kid with an extraordinary problem, and he handles it in plausible ways.

The movie draws its tension from the questions of who knows what, and when, and it gathers its power from our natural sympathy for the young and culturally reliable resonance of Christian themes in the rural farms of Italy.

The aptly named Giuseppe Cristiano delivers an eye-opening performance, and he's supported by naturalistic performances, photography, editing, and music. I'M NOT SCARED is nail-baiting, tear-jerking, and altogether successful.

I say again, what a great movie!

Battlestar Galactica: Razor

Ok, this didn't get a theatrical release, and it didn't go right straight to video, but I hope you don't mind if I geek out over a made for TV movie.

I had low hopes for BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: RAZOR. the movie tells the story of the Pegasus, a starship whose fate I, as a regular "Batlestar Galactica" viewer, already know. How interesting is it, really, to learn about how a terrible commanding officer became a terrible commanding officer? How a ship went wrong?

Not very, sad to say. Early in RAZOR, the commanding officer of Pegasus shoots her XO right there on the bridge, thus committing the tyrant's mistake: when you strike fear into your advisors, you will get no good advice. And without good advice, you can't make good decisions. And then things go to hell. And that's it, really. There's plenty more story, lots of nuggets for fans of the program, and some nifty space battles, but it simply isn't fun to watch the character arc of someone who makes such remarkably poor decisions. And our window into the story, the young officer who's intimidated, then awed, by said CO, well, she isn't very interesting, either. Her emotional range seems to go from sullen to angry to sullen, and it's hard to grow attached to her.

Hopefully, the next Battlestar Galactica movie will be two hours of Admiral Adam and President Rosslyn chatting over coffee. Frankly, I'd find that more interesting.

Monsters, Inc.

I have kids, so I've seen MONSTERS, INC. enough times now that I know its every beat. I've looked in every corner of every frame to spot all the little details. There just doesn't seem to be anything new there for me any more - I'm practically a MONSTERS, INC. -ologist.

And you know what I've learned? I've learned that MONSTERS, INC. is a well-crafted, beautifully realized, heartfelt, and funny movie. It does everything right, from the jaunty opening number that tells its juvenile audience not to get too scared by the opening scene to the absolutely perfect, absolutely heartbreaking closing shot to the fun outtakes that run with the closing credits. From the perfectly realized monsters that manage to stay just on the funny side of scary to the terrific voiceover work by Goodman, Crystal, Coburn, Buscemi, and the rest of the cast, the movie just plain nails it.

Bring on the next 25 viewings.

Vampyr

Carl Theodore Dreyer's VAMPYR is a moody, creepy horror film that seeks to unsettle and disturb us. It succeeds, and it does so through a combination of compelling story and wonderfully creepy atmosphere.

The story is the stuff of great horror. An inquisitive young man takes a room in a creepy European village. Late at night, someone enters his room and leaves a box with a note that reads, "To be opened in the event of my death." That box gets opened pretty darn quickly, and we're off to a different kind of vampire story. Why different? Well, Dreyer's idea of a vampire is neither ratlike creature nor hunka hunka burnin love. Rather, he gives us something more mysterious, perhaps more creepy, than we're used to in a vampire film. And he does it while using all the cinematic tricks available to him to create a pervasive sense of unease. VAMPYR is the kind of movie that sneaks up on you, and it's a delicious feeling. I'd gladly see it again.

Benji

BENJI (1974) is the mashed potatoes of movies. It's warm and comforting and nice and does all the things you expect it to do.

Here's the deal: Benji's the town stray, and he has a good little deal working for himself. He lives in a creepy old house that the locals think is haunted, so no one bothers him. He scores his chow from some local kids who've taken him to heart, as well as at least one local restaurateur who can always find a few scraps. He has friends throughout the town, and the film enjoys taking its time as it follows the loveable pooch on his rounds. Heck, he even goes on a date. How cute is that?

But it wouldn't be a movie without drama. Soon enough, the kids are in danger and Benji has a problem Lassie never had to handle. Who's going to listen to a stray? It's a good problem, and it's resolved well, and BENJI wraps everything up with a great big comforting bow. BENJI is a wonderful movie.

Hot Rod

HOT ROD is horrible, terrible movie. Even by the low, low standards of in-flight movies, this picture has the opposite of its intended effect: it makes time drag. When Isla Fisher and Will Arnett are in your movie and you don't know how to make (or let) them be funny, you have failed.

Here's the pitch: Rod is a pathetic loser who wants to (a) be a stuntman, (b) earn the love and respect of his stepfather, and (c) land the girl next door, but without too much sloppy kissing. First off, I've had it with "pathetic loser" quasi-retro-style teen comedies. Movie industry, accept that you will never, ever top SUPERBAD (I hear they've added more hops!) and move on. Second, I've had it with "comedies" that are just about people acting ridiculous, instead of people acting like people. Third, how is it possible that Fisher and Arnett have been reduced to dull, lifeless ciphers? I wouldn't have believed if I hadn't seen it. I'd have preferred not to believe it.

If you happen to be stuck on an airplane sometime in the next few weeks and this comes on, read SkyMall instead. It will be funnier.

Beowulf

The motion-capture version of BEOWULF, written by Neil Gaiman and directed by Robert Zemeckis, is a great time at the movies.

Since BEOWULF puts its technology front and center, I think it’s fair to comment on that technology. In deciding to go with motion capture animation for this film, Zemeckis made a conscious decision to trade Uncanny Valley drawbacks for the freedom of vision afforded by computer graphics. His choice pays off in riveting battle sequences, impossible camera movements and viewpoints, and the realization of a complete world. The price he paid shows in sight lines that are sometimes confusing and a certain deadness to the eyes that no computer animator has yet been able to overcome. In some cities, BEOWULF is available in IMAX 3-D, but such was not the case in Salt Lake City, where I happened to see this film. Watching it in 2-D, I noticed “payoff 3-D” shots that were more of a distraction than an entertainment. Overall, however, the presentation looked sharp and interesting.

Now, on to the movie. Neil Gaiman has long been among my favorite writers. He combines a love for and knowledge of folklore and literature with sensitivity to the human condition and remarkable storytelling talent. With BEOWULF, Gaiman wrote a screenplay whose deviations from the source text served to further the story, provide multiple viewpoints on the action, and stay true to the heroic tradition of which Beowulf is a part. It’s terrific, moving stuff that lends immediacy to both character and action sequences, not to mention serving up a few surprises.

As for the performances, they’re fine. Anthony Hopkins was bearable, for a change, and no one dropped the ball. Having said that, nothing stood out as being particularly noteworthy. It’s hard to act past those dead, dead eyes, no matter how much you try.

Taken together, the animation, story, and performances craft a two-hour film that made me lose track of time, that got my heart racing in all the right places, and that even managed to make Angelina Jolie look attractive. BEOWULF is fine entertainment, technologically marvelous, and, as I said, an all-around great time at the movies.

Now, if I only could see it in IMAX 3-D.

Ace in the Hole

Billy Wilder's ACE IN THE HOLE is so nasty that I couldn't find a way in to the movie. Watching ACE IN THE HOLE, I felt like I was stuck on a long trip with an insufferable companion. As the third act slowly hove into view, I couldn't wait for it to end.

ACE IN THE HOLE begins with Kirk Douglas, all braggadocio and desperate self-assurance, hustling for work in a smalltime Albuquerque newspaper. He lands the job and settles in to wait for the Big Story that'll get him back to the big time, where he think he belongs. The problem is, I didn't buy him as a newspaperman. I didn't buy him as the kind of guy who'd have the patience to gut it out in the minor leagues. Frankly, I didn't buy him as a human being. When I saw him, I saw only Kirk Douglas hamming it up.

But Douglas gets his break in the form of Richard Benedict, a poor sap who gets stuck in a cave-in while scavenging for Indian relics. Douglas milks the story for all its worth, and the resulting media circus is the real heart of this movie. Problem is, I didn't buy Benedict, either. He plays his character, Leo Mimosa, as too pious, too loving, too simple, too everything. It's as if the movie is part of the circus, building an image of a man who can't exist.

ACE IN THE HOLE may have much to say about human nature, the news media, and life in general. But it clangs its bell so loudly that all I wanted to do was plug my ears. I never thought I'd see a Billy Wilder movie I didn't like. ACE IN THE HOLE proves that there's a first time for everything.

The Godfather

You know you married the right woman when she says to you, "Let's stay up. I feel like watching a movie together." And she selects THE GODFATHER.
I hadn't seen THE GODFATHER since 1985, and I'd remembered it as an interminably long slog. But then "The Sopranos" came and went, and somewhere along the line we both raced through Puzo's novel, and this time, I was ready.

And this time, THE GODFATHER bowled me over. From the Swiss-watch screenplay to the career-making (or cementing) performances to the lighting to the music, this film puts down one sure foot after another. It breathes, it gives us time to learn about its people and place, and it fully invests us in the journey of Michael, a character who falls as he rises. The look in his eyes when, during the baptism scene, he announces, "I reject Satan and all his promises," is so thoroughly heartbreaking that the entire film is worth it for that moment alone.

THE GODFATHER is one of those films that's so well known it has become akin to cultural wallpaper. What happiness it gives me that it stands in its own right as a brilliant, captivating picture. Wow, my wife has great taste. What the heck is she doing with me?