I'm Not Scared

What a great movie!

10-year-old Michele has a problem. There's a boy chained up in a hole in the ground out in the country, and his parents may be the kidnappers. I'M NOT SCARED has an excellent premise, but it really excels in what it does with that premise. Michele isn't an adult in a child's body, and he isn't superhuman. He's a normal kid with an extraordinary problem, and he handles it in plausible ways.

The movie draws its tension from the questions of who knows what, and when, and it gathers its power from our natural sympathy for the young and culturally reliable resonance of Christian themes in the rural farms of Italy.

The aptly named Giuseppe Cristiano delivers an eye-opening performance, and he's supported by naturalistic performances, photography, editing, and music. I'M NOT SCARED is nail-baiting, tear-jerking, and altogether successful.

I say again, what a great movie!

L'Eclisse

I hated L'ECLISSE.

The film begins in the drawing room of Monica Vitti and Francisco Rabal. They're exhausted, both emotionally and physically. She's leaving him, things could get ugly, but they never do. That would be too dramatic. Instead, they end up simply going their separate ways, and the film follows Vitti over the next several days.

Unfortunately, Vitti is neither particularly interesting nor particularly pleasant to look at. She feels disaffected, she walks here and there, she falls into an unengaging relationship with Alain Delon; none of which happen with much passion (I know a film romance is in trouble when a doorbell rings and I think, "Maybe somebody will come in and shoot them. That'd add some drama."). Finally, the film ends with something I interpreted as a big "f you" to the audience: minutes and minutes of dull, empty cityscape. No drama. No story. Just images. F you, Antonioni. If I want images, I'll go to an art museum. Tell me a story.

I do respect that Antonioni is trying to do something here. Mine is not ire at poor craftsmanship or lazy filmmaking. L'ECLISSE certainly does not aspire to the mediocrity of, say, THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE remake, which I'm having trouble mustering the energy to write about. My problem is that Antonioni disregards the first law of narrative film: engage and entertain your audience. L'ECLISSE is two hours of people I don't care about doing things I don't care about for reasons I don't care about. I'm glad it's over.

Big Deal on Madonna Street

"Big Deal on Madonna Street" is a heist movie with a twist: our thieves are a gang of loveable but hopeless incompetents who couldn't steal a handbag from an old lady. It's supposed to be funny, and it does elicit a chuckle here and there, but it's never quite as funny as it wants to be. Ah, well.

The Keys to the House

THE KEYS TO THE HOUSE wants to be, tries to be, a moving little drama about a journey to manhood and father - son bonding. It begins well, with an intriguing premise (haunted runaway dad reclaims custody after 14 years) and likeable actors, but the journey to manhood isn’t particularly compelling and the father-son bonding is pretty much complete only 2/3 of the way through the movie.

This is a drab film, drearily shot, with nothing to engage the eye while the mind wanders. The actors do their jobs well enough, but they’re hampered by a directorial affection for long, motionless silences – there’s a reason why they’re called motion pictures, buddy. If you’re going to have people just stand or sit there, you’d better have good reason and you’d better not do it often.

In a recent CHUD interview, Paul Greengrass compared a major American studio picture to an orchestral symphony. THE KEYS TO THE HOUSE, a small Italian production, tries to be a charming little chamber piece, but it plays a dull tune on drab instruments. Ignore the palms on the DVD cover and give this one a pass.

Cemetery Man

CEMETERY MAN had a stellar premise, but it doesn't deliver.

The movie takes an inherently fun story about a cemetery watchman who's duties including rekilling and reburying the reanimated dead and tries to infuse it with so much existential angst it winds up burying itself. How do you suck the life out of a movie featuring a troop of zombie boy scouts and a carnivorous flying head? You do it by saddling it with head-scratchingly repulsive supporting castmembers, brooding ponderings on the nature of life, and a degree of carnage that's so far from fun that you cease to care about the well-being of critical members of the cast.

If you're looking for a movie that knows how to have some fun with the zombie genre, see SHAUN OF THE DEAD again. That picture never forgets what it's about.