Hellboy II: The Golden Army

(See my comments on "Hellboy" here.)

(See my comments on "Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms" here.)

(See my comments on "Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron" here.)

Sorry, Internet. "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" isn't going to change your life.

Well, I suppose it might, a little. It might encourage you to spend some time reading Mike Mignola's excellent "Hellboy" comic books, a delightful reinterpretation of ancient folklore cleverly disguised as an action-adventure starring a genuine prince of Hell (rebelling against his Old Man by working for the good guys). It might even make you think a little bit about the person other people want you to be and the person you want to be. Hell, it might even turn you into a Barry Manilow fan.

But it isn't the greatest film ever.

It's merely very, very good. Not only is it a well-told story, but it's phenomenally imaginative. Creator Guillermo Del Toro (who made "Pan's Labyrinth," one of the best films I've ever seen) opens the picture with faerie tale reminiscent of "Strings," another brilliantly imaginative tale, and builds on that tale by weaving it into an exciting and funny modern adventure starring Hellboy (the great Ron Perlman), his pal Abe Sapien the gill-man (Doug Jones, whom I still haven't forgiven for the nightmare -inducing Pale Man), and the love of his life, firestarter Liz Sherman (Selma Blair, who outdoes herself here). See, the elves are pissed. Long ago, the made a deal with humanity - humans got the cities, and faerie creatures got the forests. But humans kept cutting down the forests, and the elves are running out of room. Their hotspurred prince declares war and sets out to reanimate the Golden Army - a goblin-built brigade of automatons who can't be bargained with; can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until all humans are dead.

There's your story, but just outlining the story doesn't do the picture justice. Del Toro has an extraordinary imagination, which is woven into every scene of this visually delightful film. From the throwaway creature designs to the evocations of other worlds, the man gives us the kind of movie we enjoy seeing in the theater but can't wait to frame-by-frame when we bring it home on Blu-Ray. There's so much detail, so much creativity at work; not only in the already-famous Troll Market scenes, but throughout the film; that this movie is more than the clever telling of a good story. It's a multifaceted experience that's well worth savoring.

But it won't change your life.

Well, okay, maybe a little.

Hellboy Revisited

I've been on a Hellboy kick lately, mostly because I'll reinforce pretty much anything that gets my kid to read. That said, I revisited Guilllermo del Toro's live-action HELLBOY film over the weekend. I enjoyed it much more this time around.

When I saw HELLBOY during its theatrical run, the comics were fresher in my mind. This, of course, led to constant comparisons between what I was seeing and what I'd read and, while I liked what I was seeing, it simply couldn't compare to my imagination. That, and there was no Lobster Johnson.

This time around, the comics have faded in memory and I was able to enjoy the film more on its own terms. The audience surrogate -character doesn't grate, the throwaway references don't feel underdone, and themes of Hellboy really carry through. You see, HELLBOY is all about choice: it's just the thing to appeal to believers in the Leibnizian monadic soul, like me. In the film, as in the comics, Hellboy was created to be the Antichrist and unleash cosmic, Lovecraftian horror upon the world. He was brought into the world by evil forces to do evil deeds, but gets an early exposure to the good guys. Ultimately, he chooses sides, and his self-determining choice defines him more than all the external factors that combine to force his hand.

This is great stuff, and HELLBOY delivers it in a package filled with slimy monsters, catchy one-liners, and a double helping of fun.

Still no Lobster Johnson, though. Perhaps in HELLBOY 2.

Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron

HELLBOY ANIMATED: BLOOD AND IRON just isn't as much fun as SWORD OF STORMS.

B&I puts the Hellboy gang in a haunted house that's just been purchased by a Richard Branson -esque character. Before you know it, they're in the middle of a vampire and ghost story that's too gory for the kids and too familiar for the adults. Tack on a third act that recreates and truncates the Hellboy-Hecate storyline from the comics, but doesn't feel organic to the vampire/ghost story, and you have a wholly unsatisfying experience.

Color me underwhelmed.

Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms

HELLBOY ANIMATED: SWORD OF STORMS is much better than I thought it would be. I only rented the thing out of loyalty to the characters, and I expected a cheap, direct-to-DVD knockoff. What a pleasant surprise to find an involving story, solid animation, excellent voice acting, and an all-around great experience.

If you're already a Hellboy fan, read no further and be assured that you'll enjoy a film that hews to the style of the comics. If you aren't familiar with the character, here's a bit of background. In the waning days of WWII, Hitler's occult advisor tries the last-ditch tactic of summonig a demon from Hell to aid in the fight. When American forces break through at the culmination of the ceremony, they find cutest li'l baby demon you ever did see. They name him Hellboy, raise him to be a good guy, and put him to work in the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense, or BPRD (Motto: Things really do go bump in the night. We're the ones who bump back.). Hellboy's a gruff manchild, still living in the equivalent of his parents' basement, and his solution to most problems involves significant amounts of blunt force trauma. He's a great character. He's nearly indestructible, so he can face the most horrific of creatures with little more than a deadpan, "Oh, crap." He carries his massive upper torso and Fist of Clobberin' around on spindly little goat legs and delicate hooves, making him simultaneously imposing and amusing. And he hangs out with a gill man and a firestarter. What's not to like?

In HASS, the BPRD sends Hellboy to Japan to investigate the theft of a legendary sword. Before he knows it, the demon gets sucked into the Japanese equivalent of Faerie, where he must undertake a quest that gives him and us, the audience, a tour through some of the scarier tales of Japanese folklore. As Hellboy uses the amazing power of blunt force trauma to survive in this world, his pals in the BPRD must deal with the real-world repercussions of his actions and figure a way to get him back.

It's a solid setup, and one that goes right for a variety of reasons. First, HASS, as do the comics, boasts a love for folklore and an ability to introduce the audience to new legends with a light and entertaining touch. Second, the animation style resembles Hellboy creator Mike Mignola's comics, creating a continuity with the printed page and inviting us into the greater world of the character. Third, the voice acting (largely by the cast of the not-as-good live action HELLBOY movie) sells the picture. Genre stalwart Ron Perlman voices Hellboy as I always imagined the character; Selma Blair does fine, if necessarily whiny, work as Liz the firestarter; and Doug Jones gives Abe Sapien, the gill man, a different and successful spin than did live-action voice actor David Hyde Pierce.

HASS is fun. It's funny, scary, and thoroughly entertaining, and it provides a wonderful introduction to the world of Japanese folklore. What more could you want?