What I Thought About What I Saw: 2008

I rarely see films in theaters, so I often miss out on the year-end Prestige Pictures. That said, here are the top and bottom ten from among the films I did see before the year ran through.

THE BEST

1. Forgetting Sarah Marshall

This is the film I keep returning to in my mental "greatest hits" archive. Funny, sweet, and all-around wonderful, FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL is the 2008 film I'll be happy to see again and again.

2. Hellboy 2

Noone does "dazzling flights of the imagination" like Del Toro, and HELLBOY 2's amazing visuals and marvelous leaps of imagination stands as yet another fine addition to the man's catalog. If for no other reason, see this film to see a man whose head is a castle. It's magnificent.

3. Kung Fu Panda

The most beautiful film of the year, KUNG FU PANDA is filled with images so gorgeous they've adorned my desktop for months. I can't wait to see this one again on Blu-Ray.

4. Leatherheads

What a pleasure enjoy two hours of snappy dialogue delivered by sharp, charismatic performers. This movie came out of nowhere to take me by very pleasant surprise.

5. Speed Racer

Come to think of it, I think I did see the Star Child appear during that final race.

6. The Dark Knight

Everything people have been saying about Ledger's performance is true. His Joker is haunting and queasily funny and absolutely unforgettable.

7. In Bruges

A dark, sad comedy about honor and loss and redemption and responsibility. I finally get the hype about Colin Farrell.

8. Cloverfield

Ok, so it made two of the guys I went with throw up. Or maybe that was just the pre-film tequila shots. Whatever the reason, CLOVERFIELD made that which is old new again.  It did so by making it very scary, the way it was when it was old.

9. Iron Man

In the words of Jim Beaver, I'd watch Robert Downey, Jr. sand his baseboards. He's got his charisma dialed up to 11 in this one, and Jeff Bridges and Gwyneth Paltrow dial it right up with him. What a fun time at the movies.

10. You Don't Mess with the Zohan

I laughed all the way through this silly, over the top comedy. I expected it rough and raucous, but was pleasantly surprised by silky smooth.

THE WORST

10. Bangkok Dangerous

Great location work and immersion in one of the world's most inviting cultures can't save a by-the-numbers crime show about a guy with bad hair extensions and the cipher who loves him.

9. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Up yours. My treasure is a golden idol on a pressure sensitive pedestal.

8. Incredible Hulk

This movie felt too knowing, too cynical, too not-fun. Give me Josh Lucas in freeze frame fireball any day of the week.

7. Star Wars: Clone Wars

If I wanted to watch the pilot for some cartoon aimed at my kid, I'd tune into Cartoon Network.

6. Horton Hears a Who

This film adds absolutely nothing to the book, leaving audience members who already know the volume absolutely nowhere to go.

5. The Forbidden Kingdom

A moderately bad wuxia picture killed by its framing story and a black hole of a leading character. At least Yifei Liu is very good at standing around and looking pretty.

4. Death Race

How do you make a movie called DEATH RACE, then fail to show your audience who's racing, who's dying, and why?

3. Space Chimps

I don't know how to work "chimp" into "sucked," so I'll quote my original review: it's chimpdiculous.

2. The Foot Fist Way

It took me two attempts to get through this hateful movie that finds comedy in humiliation. I shouldn't have made the effort.

1. Mamma Mia

MAMMA MIA's a great big party, but I wasn't invited. I made four attempts to get through this one, and couldn't last more than a few minutes each time. It's as if it was made by and for people from another planet.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

(See my comments on "Hellboy" here.)

(See my comments on "Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms" here.)

(See my comments on "Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron" here.)

Sorry, Internet. "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" isn't going to change your life.

Well, I suppose it might, a little. It might encourage you to spend some time reading Mike Mignola's excellent "Hellboy" comic books, a delightful reinterpretation of ancient folklore cleverly disguised as an action-adventure starring a genuine prince of Hell (rebelling against his Old Man by working for the good guys). It might even make you think a little bit about the person other people want you to be and the person you want to be. Hell, it might even turn you into a Barry Manilow fan.

But it isn't the greatest film ever.

It's merely very, very good. Not only is it a well-told story, but it's phenomenally imaginative. Creator Guillermo Del Toro (who made "Pan's Labyrinth," one of the best films I've ever seen) opens the picture with faerie tale reminiscent of "Strings," another brilliantly imaginative tale, and builds on that tale by weaving it into an exciting and funny modern adventure starring Hellboy (the great Ron Perlman), his pal Abe Sapien the gill-man (Doug Jones, whom I still haven't forgiven for the nightmare -inducing Pale Man), and the love of his life, firestarter Liz Sherman (Selma Blair, who outdoes herself here). See, the elves are pissed. Long ago, the made a deal with humanity - humans got the cities, and faerie creatures got the forests. But humans kept cutting down the forests, and the elves are running out of room. Their hotspurred prince declares war and sets out to reanimate the Golden Army - a goblin-built brigade of automatons who can't be bargained with; can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until all humans are dead.

There's your story, but just outlining the story doesn't do the picture justice. Del Toro has an extraordinary imagination, which is woven into every scene of this visually delightful film. From the throwaway creature designs to the evocations of other worlds, the man gives us the kind of movie we enjoy seeing in the theater but can't wait to frame-by-frame when we bring it home on Blu-Ray. There's so much detail, so much creativity at work; not only in the already-famous Troll Market scenes, but throughout the film; that this movie is more than the clever telling of a good story. It's a multifaceted experience that's well worth savoring.

But it won't change your life.

Well, okay, maybe a little.