Army of Darkness

Attention S-Mart Shoppers:

I doubt it’s possible to love movies without loving Army of Darkness.  This movie has everything: knights, wizards, skeletons, a princess in distress, and a hero with a chainsaw who isn’t afraid to belt out a lusty “Gimme some sugar, baby!” when he has a damsel in his arms.

The film represents the culmination of Sam Raimi’s “Evil Dead” series.  The first, a reasonably straightforward horror movie about college kids in a remote cabin, is respectably scary.  Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn, mixes horror with comedy, as when its protagonist amputates his own (possessed) hand atop a stack of books that features A Farewell to Arms.  Army of Darkness goes for full slapstick, with scenes paying comic homage to films as diverse as Return of the Jedi, The Seven Samurai, The Three Stooges, The 7^th Voyage of Sinbad, Gulliver's Travels, and The Day The Earth Stood Still.  It’s goofy, it’s silly, and it’s an all-around good time at the movies.

That’s if you’re an adult.

Last Halloween, I saw Army of Darkness with my pre-teen boy and his friends.  They found it much better than a “good time at the movies.”  In fact, the movie had them howling with laughter, frequently rewinding to re-view parts they’d missed because they’d been laughing so hard.  Somehow, this film’s combination of slapstick and horror resonated in a way I hadn’t expected, turning Army of Darkness from a beloved amusement (for me) to an instant Halloween classic (for them).

And y’know what?  Laughter is catching.  The more they laughed, the more I laughed with them.  And when I laughed at the gags specifically directed to the older members of the audience (there’s a whole Chuck Conners in ‘The Rifleman’ thing going on), they cracked up just because they were in the zone.

So this was the Halloween in which I learned to love Army of Darkness even more.  I didn't think that was possible.  Hail to the king, baby!

Oz the Great and Powerful

You could play a game during Oz the Great and Powerful called “How baked is James Franco right now?” I swear to God, the guy looks like he's flying high for a good half of the movie's running time.

So, what's it about? Well, Franco plays a low-end carnival magician who doesn't realize he's past his peak attractiveness. When Michelle Williams basically offers to marry him, he's too stupid to realize that there is no better deal around the corner and sends her on her way. So it's about an idiot.

When a tornado hits the carnival and the idiot gets transported to Oz, Mila Kunis basically offers to marry him. Not realizing that God has given him a second chance to settle down with an A-teamer even though he's a few years past his sell-by date, the idiot temporizes. Then, because he's pretty much the luckiest idiot ever, Rachel Weisz puts the moves on him. Ok, so the idiot wasn't an idiot after all: Rachel Weisz was the better deal around the corner. Guess how he responds?

Yep. He's an idiot.

Or not – you'll have to see the movie and decide for yourself. While doing so, enjoy Sam Raimi's unique directorial style (Really, you should see Drag Me to Hell.  Not enough people did.) the pretty colors, the fine supporting work, the expert animation, and playing “How baked is James Franco right now.” If you approach Oz the Great and Powerful in the right frame of mind, you'll have an idiotic good time.

Spider-Man 3

Warning!  Spoiler Ahead!

Here’s the problem with Spider-Man 3: at the end of the film, Peter Parker and Harry Osborn, in their Spider-Man and (new nemesis) Green Goblin costumes respectively, team up to fight the big, scary villains.  They’re old friends in great danger, yet they’re having a ball.  They fall into sync.  They help each other out.  They’re a couple of guys we’d love to spend an hour and a half with.  In other words, Spider-Man 3’s climax shows us what we’ve been missing, thus making us feel like we’ve been missing out.  Spider-Man was fun.  Spider-Man 2 was fun.  Spider-Man 3 doesn’t get fun until the last twenty minutes.  By then, it’s too late.

Spider-Man mastermind Sam Raimi set out to make a relationship movie in this, his third installment in the franchise.  Unfortunately, it’s the kind of relationship movie that makes you want to throw your remote at the screen and yell at these people to just go grab a beer and talk to each other.  If they’d done that, they’d have been much happier much sooner, and so would we.

Drag Me to Hell

DRAG ME TO HELL is everything I look for in a movie entitled DRAG ME TO HELL. It's scary. It's funny. It even has someone (perhaps more than one) being dragged to Hell.

I started out liking this movie: it had a likeable protagonist, a hammy medium, the borderline ubiquitous Justin Long, a gypsy curse, and even a slimy coworker whom we'd really like to see get dragged to Hell in place of the aforementioned protagonist. There was some great gross out stuff, good music, and general sense of a film that knew how to be scary without taking itself too seriously.

Let me tell you when I crossed over to loving this movie: the séance scene. [Oh, come on. That's not a spoiler. How could a Gypsy Curse movie called DRAG ME TO HELL not have a séance scene?] The medium did her thing. Puffs of air made the draperies in the ridiculously over the top chamber billow. Heavy objects moved around. Even ghosts appeared. And then the possession began. I swear to God, I half expected a spectral kitchen sink to show up! This is when I knew (not that I ever doubted) that Raimi was entirely prepared to go over the top, stick the landing, then come around and go over the top again.

So yeah, this is a genre film called DRAG ME TO HELL. But it's as good as genre films get, made by a guy who knows how to create a good time at the movies. It wouldn't take much to drag me back for another screening.

Spider-Man 3

Last weekend, I took my family to see SPIDER-MAN 3. Judging by the difference in our reactions, I saw a totally different movie than they did. In fact, judging by the fact that I was often the only one laughing in the theater, I saw a totally different movie than everyone else in the theater.

That's ok. I loved the movie I saw.

SPIDER-MAN 3's opening credits give us a quick recap of the previous two movies, and before you know it we're right in the middle of the action. Things are going pretty well for Peter/Spidey. He's managing a good work/life balance, he makes time to attend Mary Jane's big Broadway premier, and he's happy as a beloved New York icon. But wouldn't you know, as in most two-career relationships, one partner's career starts falling behind. Before you know it, Peter's life is filled with animosity, jealousy, and guyscara. This is not good.

Speaking of things that are not good, Harry Osbourne is all Goblined out and ready for revenge; that guy from SIDEWAYS has been working out and he's mad as hell; and there's this new photographer at the Bugle who isn't above a little photoshopping if it'll help to make the perfect shot. Oh, and now Peter has to cope with a new black tar habit, to boot.

So, there's your drama. But director Sam Raimi isn't just about the drama: SM3 is laced with comedy that runs from the subtle dig to the broad John Cleese impression (I swear to God, I was waiting for Bruce Campbell to offer Peter a wafer-thin mint.) to the full-on SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER parody. Additionally, SM3's action set-pieces manage both beauty and excitement. Mix in a nice moral, solid work in even the smaller supporting roles, and you have a recipe for big-ticket, blockbuster fun.

SPIDER-MAN 3 is just the thing for a summer afternoon, even if you are the only one laughing in the theater. The more I think about it, the more I like it.

For Love of the Game

Everyone hated 'For Love of the Game.' When it came out, I don't think I heard a single word of praise for the feature, so I gave it a wide berth. When a friend pressed it into my hands with a "you have to see this," I felt no particular urgency to do so.

When I finally gave it a spin, I was pleasantly surprised.

'For Love of the Game' follows Detroit Tigers star pitcher Billy Chapel, a guy looking at the end of a 19-year career on the eve of what could be his last start as a major-league pitcher. As the game wears on, Chapel (ably played by Kevin Costner) reflects on his life and his on-again-off-again relationship with Jane Aubry (Kelly Preston). Will Chapel win the game? Will he get the girl? Is Kevin Costner a movie star?

'For Love of the Game' is most effective when it's in the stadium. The picture puts us in Chapel's headspace, helping us think as he thinks and giving us a feel for what it's like to be a major league pitcher. I've always been a sucker for sports movies, and baseball is particularly well-suited to the genre. The picture falters, however, when it focuses on Chapel & Aubry's relationship: maybe it was the press of my DVD or maybe it was the movie itself, but the ADR was off ever so slightly during many of their scenes together. The effect was jarring enough to pull me completely out of the movie, and I had a hard time investing in their relationship as a result.

Nevertheless, I rate 'For Love of the Game" as a pleasant surprise.

Now, buy me some peanute & Cracker Jacks.