Guardians of the Galaxy

After a brief prologue, Guardians of the Galaxy kicks off with likable star Chris Pratt basically re-creating the opening sequence of Raiders of the Lost Ark while boogieing to '70s soft rock. So far, so good. Then, Michael Rooker shows up as a blue-faced alien scoundrel. This you must know: while the presence of Michael Rooker is not a guarantee of quality, it is a guarantee of awesomeness. Boom. I'm in.

Soon enough, here comes Zoe Saldana, reigning queen of the big-budget science fiction adventure, put into immediate conflict with Doctor Who's Karen Gillan. We are cooking.

Guardians of the Galaxy doesn't squander its early goodwill. It takes its simple MacGuffin chase of a plot and layers it with yet more endearing characters; clever homages to films as diverse as Pulp Fiction, Slither, Footloose, and Howard the Duck; and loads and loads of well-played banter. All of this adds up to a light, fun, and exciting space opera that had my whole family laughing out loud and rocking along for a solid two hours.

As I write about it, however, I find that I'm having trouble sinking my teeth into it.  It's bouncy.  It's fun.  I'll enjoy seeing it again when it hits Netflix.  But it doesn't give me much to think about.  It's the cotton candy of movies.

That said, I like cotton candy.  Guardians of the Galaxy worked for me.

Wreck-It Ralph

My kids loved Wreck-It Ralph. My wife loved Wreck-It Ralph. I liked Wreck-It Ralph. Two out of three ain't bad.

Here's the setup: Wreck-It Ralph is the bad guy in a video game that's a cross between Donkey Kong and Rampage. He's tired of being the villain, however, so he sets out on a quest to find the legendary Dumont, the oldest program in cyberspace. He's blocked by the Evil Master Control Program. With the help of his allies Tron and Yori, he defeats the Master Control Program and takes his place as a hero.

Sorry, I got lost in my imagination there. While Ralph does set out to be a hero, he does so in a universe that's just one step to the left of Tron. Where Tron's vision of the world inside computers and video games (which are ... but you already knew that) is both awesome and a little scary, Wreck-It Ralph's is a lot more fun. While the film states that a game character can die if it leaves its own machine, we sense that the odds of that actually happening are really quite slim. This played well with my three and six year-olds, who thrilled to the film's dangers rather than hide behind my arms, as they sometimes do. Further, much of the film takes place inside a game Ralph visits called "Sugar Rush," a cart racer set in Candyland. Scary monsters become decidedly less so when they can get stuck in gum.

This reasonably non-threatening milieu makes for a nice place for kids to lose themselves for a couple of hours. Plug in a redemption quest, a cute sidekick, and sweet romantic B story, and you've got yourself a movie. Of course, none of it could work without good voice acting, and John C. Reilly voices the title character with a winning combination of soulfulness and lovability. While the other major voice actors basically do their schtick, Alan Tudyk (CDNW) outshines them all. His King Candy, with a voice reminiscent of Ed Wynn on a Fanta and Twizzlers bender, is the most energetic, exciting, and delightful villain you're going to find at the movies this season. (By the way, you really should see Tucker & Dale vs. Evil. It's available on both Amazon Prime and Netflix Instant right now.)

So why did I just like, instead of love, Wreck-It Ralph? Well, I'd been up for 20 hours, so perhaps I wasn't at my most receptive. Thing is, I felt like I knew every beat of this movie before it happened. Don't get me wrong: the script is tight and the whole thing flows, but it felt, maybe, a little too perfect for me. It offered no real challenges, no insights beyond "Hey, be yourself." And that's fine, really. It just takes a little more to make me flip for something.

So, what am I telling you? I'm telling you that your kids will probably love Wreck-It Ralph. You very well may, too At worst, I bet you'll like it. Wreck-It Ralph is a good time at the movies.

Step Brothers

Step Brothers is a one-joke movie.  Fortunately, it’s a funny joke.

Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly play 40-ish men who never really matured past the age of, oh, 13.  They live at home and act like children.  When their parents meet, marry, and move in together, they have to learn to get along. 

You could build a funny movie about spoiled kids becoming brothers with child actors, but the hook here is watching schlubby, middle-aged guys exhibit these behaviors.  A couple of kids climbing into a treehouse to hang out and gripe about their goody-two-shoes sibling could be amusing, but watching grown men do it is downright hilarious.

Is it shallow?  Yeah.  Is it formulaic?  Yeah.  Is it funny?  Well, yeah.  Go figure.

Cedar Rapids

In Cedar Rapids, Ed Helms plays what’s quickly becoming the Ed Helms character: a nerdy, uptight good guy who falls in with a bad crowd.  Hijinks ensue.  Valuable Life Lessons get learned.  Roll the credits.

Fine, fine.  The fish out of water is a comedic archetype for a reason: it often works.  Does it work here?  Well, ask yourself this question: do you find the concept of a guy who lives in Brown Valley, Wisconsin and works for Brown Star Insurance amusing?  If so, Cedar Rapids is for you.

Me, well, I didn’t laugh at that or any other joke in the movie.  It wasn’t that Ed Helms is a poor comedic actor or that the story didn’t flow.  It’s just that the jokes didn’t work for me.  I found Cedar Rapids to be genial company on a long flight in coach, but that was all.

Walk Hard

I don't think I gave "Walk Hard" a fair shake.

I loved the first fifteen minutes, which I enjoyed while eating lunch. Then I started in on the laundry (with two you boys, I have a lot of laundry), and the simple act of folding and sorting took me out of the comedy headspace the film demanded.

Or maybe the movie just couldn't top, "It wasn't it fault!" "Not his fault? He cut him in half! With a machete!"

Even though the picture didn't raise many laughs after its first act, it did impress me with its music. Over the course of the feature, "Walk Hard" showcased perhaps every major genre of music to get airplay in America in the last fifty years. And the title song itself? Y'know, it's catchy. In fact, I've been humming it for days.

So, "Walk Hard." There it is. Give it your full attention, and it may pay off for you. It's hard for me to say.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

If BEERFEST was mildly disappointing, TALLEDEGA NIGHTS was crushingly
bad. I sat through the entire excruciating affair with a stone face,
utterly unable to buy into the comedy on any level.

Ricky Bobby is a boring, one-dimensional character. His nemesis,
played by emerging favorite Sacha Baron Cohen, is a boring,
one-dimensional character. In fact, every character in this movie is
boring and one-dimensional.

TALLADEGA NIGHTS tries so hard to be wacky and over-the-top that turns
out a wild misfire. Not only that, but it's insulting: it's one thing
to make a little extra money through product placement; it's another
to stop the action for a full-blown commercial thinly disguised as a
"joke" I want my money back.

For Love of the Game

Everyone hated 'For Love of the Game.' When it came out, I don't think I heard a single word of praise for the feature, so I gave it a wide berth. When a friend pressed it into my hands with a "you have to see this," I felt no particular urgency to do so.

When I finally gave it a spin, I was pleasantly surprised.

'For Love of the Game' follows Detroit Tigers star pitcher Billy Chapel, a guy looking at the end of a 19-year career on the eve of what could be his last start as a major-league pitcher. As the game wears on, Chapel (ably played by Kevin Costner) reflects on his life and his on-again-off-again relationship with Jane Aubry (Kelly Preston). Will Chapel win the game? Will he get the girl? Is Kevin Costner a movie star?

'For Love of the Game' is most effective when it's in the stadium. The picture puts us in Chapel's headspace, helping us think as he thinks and giving us a feel for what it's like to be a major league pitcher. I've always been a sucker for sports movies, and baseball is particularly well-suited to the genre. The picture falters, however, when it focuses on Chapel & Aubry's relationship: maybe it was the press of my DVD or maybe it was the movie itself, but the ADR was off ever so slightly during many of their scenes together. The effect was jarring enough to pull me completely out of the movie, and I had a hard time investing in their relationship as a result.

Nevertheless, I rate 'For Love of the Game" as a pleasant surprise.

Now, buy me some peanute & Cracker Jacks.