The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle

THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY & BULLWINKLE represents either a career low for Robert DeNiro and Rene Russo or a fun, silly jaunt for kids that should be taken as it was intended. I’m inclined to go with the former, but my kids would select the latter.

Here’s the deal: an ambitious young studio executive wants to helm her first movie, but every script she sees is too intelligent. Then, someone pitches her a live-action film based on the old “Rocky & Bullwinkle” cartoons, and she’s ready to sign. But there’s a catch: the pitchers are cartoon villains, and the hook is that they’re ready to come into the real world and wreak havoc. And so it is that DeNiro, as Fearless Leader, Rene Russo as Natasha, and Jason Alexander as Boris find corporeal form. And it isn’t long after that Rocky & Bullwinkle, rendered in a level of CGI somewhere below that of the SCOOBY-DOO films, enter the picture to save the day.

But why am I wasting time setting up the plot? It only exists as a vehicle for sight gags, self-consciously bad puns, and general purpose silliness that had me checking my watch and both my boys delighted. This movie wasn’t made with me in mind, but I respect its dedication to kid-friendly humor and its willingness to throw jokes at the wall and see what sticks.

Do I want to see the once-great Robert DeNiro waste his time with stuff like this? Not really, but I still respect the guy’s willingness to go with the cheesy joke even while I grimace at perversions of some of his signature moments. But hey, he didn’t make this movie with me in mind. And he did entertain the hell out of my kids, which made it possible for me to get some chores done around the house. Rather than criticize the man for his involvement in ROCKY & BULLWINKLE, perhaps I should be thanking him.

Shark Tale

SHARK TALE is a horrible trainwreck of a movie, a “family film” that’s too adult for kids and too childish for adults.

Will Smith plays a fast-talking loserfish who takes advantage of a misunderstanding to convince everyone that he’s a shark slayer, a protector of the reef. Robert De Niro plays the Godfather Shark who is unamused by this upstart, and away we go. I could see the concept having a certain appeal for film buffs, but who really wants to show their 8-yr-old a scene of two thugs torturing a hapless victim, no matter how many in-jokes are crammed in?

The Godfather, Part II

Here's the problem with THE GODFATHER, PART II: it doesn't add to the story of THE GODFATHER. Michael ends THE GODFATHER well and truly damned. By the end of Part II, all he's done is find out what hell's like. Vito ends THE GODFATHER a man of honor, by his own lights. That's how he ends here. There is nothing that happens in Part II that hasn't already been done, and done more elegantly, in the original.

So why is it so riveting? I believe that Part II's performances overcome its screenplay. Al Pacino's Michael Corleone is so interesting that I don't mind that all his character does in this film is live out the consequences of his earlier choices. Diane Keaton's Kay Corleone is so heartbreaking that I nearly wept for her. Robert Duvall's Tom Hagen is the most scarily efficient man I've seen in film in a long time. And Robert DeNiro's young Vito is everything we might have expected young Vito to be: cunning, brave, charismatic; a man who commands respect.

It's damn hard for actors to rise above their source material and bring real art from mediocrity, but this cast pulls it off. They're what make watching THE GODFATHER, PART II time well spent.