I've never been a
fan of Michael Bay's movies, but I've never thought of him as a bad
person.
Until now.
Pain and Gain
is a bad movie made by a bad person who operates under the assumption
that his audience is full of bad people who enjoy laughing at other
bad people.
Pain and Gain
is a bad movie because it's a thuddingly unfunny comedy. Not one
funny thing happens during its entire run time, and I didn't so much
as grin from the opening credits to the close. Pain and
Gain was made by a bad person
because only a bad person thinks that a true story of kidnapping,
torture, and multiple murder can be played for laughs. This bad
person assumes that his audience is full of bad people because it is,
simply, wrong to laugh at stupid people for being stupid: they can't
help it.
Here's the story:
Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, and Anthony Mackie are stupid
bodybuilders who, motivated by a stupid get-rich-quick schemer, go in
on a stupid plan to kidnap and torture a rich guy until he gives them
his money.
Yes, there's some
commentary on materialism and confusion between wealth and happiness,
but it's slight. Mostly, the film serves as an opportunity for its
audience to spend ninety minutes feeling superior to a bunch of
morons.
You know who finds
that entertaining? Bad people. I regret reneging on my resolution
never to see another Michael Bay movie. Bad decision.
