Ninotchka

NINOTCHKA demands that the viewer fall in love with Greta Garbo. I did not, and the film never rose above the level of amusing diversion because of it.

Here's the setup: Ninotchka's a mid-level Soviet apparatchik sent to Paris to complete the sale of a set of royal jewels. But hey, it's Paris. Who can't fall in love in, and with, Paris? Will Ninotchka loosen up and live a little? Will she accomplish her mission? Will capitalism defeat the tyranny of communism? Aw, hell - you know the answers to all those questions, so the only real question is whether you want to go along for the ride.

Problem is, Ninotchka is distant, brittle, and unwise. While watching her adventure, we get the sense that the actress playing her is smarter than she is, is perhaps smarter than us, and is merely shovelling it out for mass consumption. There is no spell, there is no magic, and there's barely even Paris.

What a drag.

Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein

While ABBOT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN has some clever lines for the grownups (Chaney: "You don't understand! When the full moon rises, I turn into a wolf!" Costello: "You and forty million other guys.") and some effective physical comedy for the kids (the bits in the House of Horrors and the Landing), it's a singularly unambitious picture that cheapens Universal's classic monsters.

I understand why Karloff passed on the chance to reprise his role as the Monster in this feature. This movie takes Universal's monsters and makes a mockery of them, reducing any sense of pathos or horror they may once have had and mining them for cheap laughs. One can almost see the paychecks dangling offscreen whenever Chaney's Wolfman and/or Lugosi's Dracula are around, and one has to wonder what went through their minds as they enacted their climactic battle.

Nevertheless, my 6-year-old liked it, and the grownups did chuckle now and again. When you fire up ABBOT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN, rest assured that you're going to get what you expect.