The Skin I Live In

The Skin I Live In is a full-blown gothic horror movie by Pedro Almodóvar.

I’m just gonna let that sink in a moment.

Almodóvar’s films invariably place among the best movies of any given year.  He tells carefully constructed and observed stories with humanity and an impeccable eye for composition.  Films like Volver and All About My Mother offer not just an evening’s entertainment, but full-blown aesthetic experiences.

And here, in The Skin I Live In, he gives us a full-blown aesthetic experience that’s also a ‘mad scientist’ movie. 

Antonio Banderas, reminding us that he was an actor before he became a personality, plays the mad scientist - mad in both senses of the word.  His faithful assistant (and Almodóvar regular), Marisa Paredes, enables and supports him as only a faithful assistant in a mad scientist movie can.  The nature of his madness I’ll leave for you to discover.

The really interesting part of all this, however, is what Almodóvar does with Banderas’s madness.  He uses it to investigate and question our sense of self, of sexuality, of our relationships with the most important people in our lives.  What are they founded upon?  Are they malleable?  If so, how much?

And he does all this with the thoughtful, compassionate gaze and impeccable eye for beauty that marks all his work.  He takes a ‘mad scientist’ movie and turns it into something different, better, more.  He makes us think, and he makes us really see, and he gives us beauty at 24 frames per second.

Pedro Almodóvar can do no wrong.  The Skin I Live In marks yet another fine example.

Haywire

Haywire stars MMA & Muay Thai champion Gina Carano as a spy-for-hire who finds herself trapped in an espionage thriller made by people who appear to have no love for the genre.

We’ve all seen plenty of action thrillers headlined by women who look like they couldn’t hurt a fly.  I like waif-fu as much as the next guy, but let’s face it: force equals mass times acceleration.  I had a great time watching wafer-thin Zoe Saldana beat up grown men in Colombiana, for instance, but at no time did I believe her punches would actually hurt.  Gina Carano, on the other hand, is no waif: she looks like she knows her way around a steak dinner, she moves like the trained and experienced fighter she is, and I didn’t have to forcibly suspend my disbelief to accept her besting her foes.

Problem is, she’s a terrible actress.  Director Steven Soderbergh puts her onscreen with people like Michael Douglas, Antonio Banderas, Ewan McGregor, Bill Paxton, and Michael Fassbender, and she comes across as wooden and overmatched.  I believed her when she was in action, but I couldn’t believe her when she was setting up the situations and motivations that put her in action.

And the action itself?  It isn’t much fun.  In fact, it feels like it was made by people who felt they were slumming.  The music just sits there, the fights are poorly edited, the double and triple crosses carry no heft, and the production has no sense of joy.  Compare Haywire with, say, Tai Chi Master.  Tai Chi Master is standard wuxia fare, but it’s made by people who love wuxia.  There’s an exuberance in the stunt work, the music, the performances, the editing, that you just won’t find in Haywire.

Look, I like action pictures.  I enjoy good fight choreography, I like fireballs as much as the next guy, and I’m a sucker for a good chase scene.  But you’ve got to meet me half way.  You’ve got to cast a lead who can act.  You’ve got to give your picture a sense of urgency and propulsion.  You’ve got to love the genre.  Haywire doesn’t, so I’m marking it down as one of Soderbergh’s failures.

Shrek the Third

SHREK THE THIRD ("Shrek 3," hereafter), is a joyless slog through a never ending stream of tired jokes. Sure, my kid liked it plenty, but my kid is eight years old. You gonna trust him?

Here's the setup: Just as Shrek departs on a voyage to find the heir to the kingdom, Prince Charming rallies the forces of evil to conquer said kingdom so he can, um, put on a show. Ok, fair enough. Problem is, Shrek 3 can't do anything more with this premise than it did with the two earlier, funnier installments. The fun of having fairy tales turned on their head has diminished, and this movie has little to add to that formula.

On the up side, Shrek 3 employs some terrific actors. It's always great to see Julie Andrews, John Cleese, Eric Idle, and (the surprisingly good and versatile) Justin Timberlake get work. There are no performances that pull one out of the viewing experience, though it's a shame that they're in service to such an uninspired story.

Ah, well.